outWORD by Matte Downey

Lloyd lives in the Philippines. He works for linksys. He answered the phone at 10:30 pm when I called about my wireless router problem which had unexpectedly appeared most inconveniently on Friday morning just when I needed to send some emails and do some research for my weekend trip. Risha in India (who works for Bell) managed to circumvent the router and get me up and running on a dial-up internet connection on Friday morning so that I could get my work done and I left the router issue for later. Later happened to be tonight as Dean tackled the problem and tried to reset the router but nothing seemed to be working. He gave up. Then I picked up the phone and called for help. After 61 minutes and 18 seconds, Lloyd had managed to navigate through several dead end problems, reset my IP address, upgrade the firmware, reconfigure my router and get both of my laptops running again on a secure wireless network! I actually startled him at one point when I uttered a loud, "Oh my goodness!...

It is now 12:42 am on Wednesday and I will leave in 30 minutes to pick Dean up from the airport. Way past my usual bed-time (unless I get into a book and then I have been known to stay up past 2 am - it is always, "Just one more chapter.") Since I have 30 minutes, I am reading a chapter in The Message and writing something here. This verse strikes me as I read Job 6: "When desparate people give up on God Almightly, their friends, at least, should stick with them." What would make you walk away from a friend? Many of our friendships are so cheap that we sell them for an insult or a misunderstanding or a moment of hurt and even just because it becomes inconvenient. Unfortunately, I have been in religious and church settings where the slightest hint of scandal or shame caused all the so-called faithful and righteous friends to scurry away from embarrassing or sinful scenes. Jesus was a friend of sinners and I can't really think of many people who aspire to imitate...

I just returned from a little trip to visit friends in the Toronto area and got somewhat bored after a few hours behind the wheel, so snapped a few pictures with my camera while driving. Note: this is not really a recommended activity while driving due to obvious safety issues - I kept my eyes on the road by just pointing and clicking and not really looking at the viewfinder to see what I was shooting. It seems more unpredictable and exciting that way, anyway. The first one is of me passing a Schneiders truck. For your information, Schneider Foods is located in Kitchener, Ontario and is one of the largest Canadian producers of premium quality food products, at least that's what their website states. It appears I was somewhat hungry at that point? The second one is an attempt to get a picture of The Big Apple, a tourist attraction that features a large red apple almost 40 feet tall near Colbourne, Ontario. My timing was impeccable as not one but TWO big trucks passed in front of my ...

I was away all day yesterday at a leadership seminar and by the time I got home, several things had changed. Where there were no flowers before, this dark violet iris now bloomed. And where there was life, it ceased to exist as one of Dean's childhood friends died. It is amazing how much can change in one day. Though usually life moves at a rather sedate pace as day after day turns into year after year and the young become old, there are times when changes happen suddenly and you find yourself surprised and somewhat unprepared for the abruptness of it. I just started to read the book of Job this week. He says, "We take the good days from God - why not also the bad days?" Dean is flying out for a few days to attend the funeral in Manitoba and say a few words at the service. I don't know what to say or even how to pray in these situations for death is a confounding thing, but this is the kind of thing that Jesus specialised in: not alleviating all our suffering, but br...

There are crumbs on my desk. I know they were left there by Dean. Sure, there are often crumbs on my desk. Some I dribble there as I often have lunch or a snack while I read and type or work, some the cats track across the flat surface they like to pace across on their way to the window or just to look at me and get some attention or to beg for a bite of some goody, some come from that mysterious place where dust and dirt and debris are manufactured and distributed freely for all to enjoy equally. I was just reading an article on faith and proof and that got me to thinking...though I did not see Dean drop any crumbs on the desk, I KNOW they are from him. I have no proof (though I suppose DNA tests or fingerprints might be conclusive) except that I know he was here today and there are things present that I did not make. Sure, I could blame it on the cats, but I know what cats make and that looks different. You don't always have to see it to know it is true. I just started ...

Don't worry, I am not turning into a planto-phile, but a flower is one of the most magnificent displays of colour one will ever see with the naked eye (and with a camera). I caught this one at Finnegan's farm on the weekend. Right after I took that picture, this dog came over and said hello and begged me to take his picture. He is up for adoption if anyone is interested. I am trying out a brand new litter product on the cats. This one promises to be less smelly and last longer. One can only hope. It is also REALLY noisy! It might wake me up at night! This got me to thinking...what if the master of our lives decided to change something basic that we take for granted every day? Like the stuff we walk on? Or the liquids we drink? Or the height of the sky? Part of the beauty of the brain is that it gradually gets used to things so that we are not always bombarded with sensory signals; it only alerts us to something new. Take a moment and see if you can feel the clothes on your bo...

Random Saturday night thoughts having very little to do with this picture of a Ferguson tractor at Finnegan's market this morning: Tired. Watering the lawn while I type this, moving the sprinklers every 30 minutes. Got home at 2 am this morning after partying with friends for Dean's birthday: ribs, bowling, DDR, air hockey, and other amusements. Woke up way too early to feed the cats and never went back to sleep for some silly reason. Feel like I need some time to think and pray and listen and not be driving somewhere in the car - its been that kind of a week where all the activities clump together. My watering permit runs out tomorrow. Yeah and boo. I don't like the watering ritual, but I also want the new seeds to grow big and strong. I trust God with my lawn. Pizza tastes very good if you have not had it in a long time. I can't imagine living with a king husband like Esther did and you can only go see him when he calls you. Isn't the point of being ...

For most of my life, I have been asked the question, "What?" What do you do? What are your goals? What do you want to do? What do you want to accomplish in life? So I, in one of my compliant phases, started to ask myself the same questions as they seemed to be important ones, or at the very least, popular ones. "What?" is a very hard question to answer, I discovered. Not being a very linear thinker and not having a definable profession don't help, either. This week I was finally freed from the question of "What?" Or rather, I narrowed it down to ONE "what" question that negates the need for any others. Here is the only "What?" question I believe is worthy of my attention: What part of the character of God is my life supposed to show and bring to this world? If I know the response to this, all life's questions and answers fall into place much easier. Decision-making becomes a snap (okay, not exactly a snap, but I like the sound...

I have been challenged on my not-so-healthy habit of using my overactive imagination to develop scenarios of how I would like things to turn out in my life and relationships. You might say I am a hopeful and positive person, but why don't we just call it what it is: fantasizing. Expectations for things to turn out in a certain way (always to my advantage, of course) are just a set-up for disappointments which lead to emotional turmoil and depression when things go wrong. This in turn causes stress and perhaps bitterness and anger and I end up being less than productive for a period of time as I recover from the devastation. I don't have to be devastated -I just have to give up my fantasies. My hope should never be in a certain scenario anyway - it should be in God's ability to be true to his character. That never disappoints. I have been following a discussion online stemming from a post that says all this vision casting is counterproductive and kills (murders) the li...

1. We went to a swing dance class last night. What fun. They made the females change partners all the time so I got to dance with pretty much every guy there. At first I didn't think I would like that, but it was great: you meet lots of new people and learn to follow signals better instead of relying on knowing your partner. And what a difference a confident partner makes! 2. We also slid into the end of a Pink Floyd cover band show at Club Soda. Really quite good. The light show was amazing and the musicianship not bad at all. One amazing guitar solo! 3. This morning was telemarketer frenzy! What are all those people doing up on a Saturday morning calling me? Sorry, I was sleepy and had very little voice this morning so I just said no thank you and wished them a good day. 4. I am out of orange juice again. This has happened TWICE in the last 2 weeks. I must get better at OJ inventory management. 5. I like Dean. We went out to lunch with a friend of ours yesterday...

I am eating lunch. After that, I will go outside and make a 7 by 10 foot lawn around the oh-so- inconveniently-placed fire hydrant in my driveway. What can one do? When the fire hydrant cuts into the middle of your double driveway...you make a lovely patch of grass around it as if highlighting a priceless statue you imported from Italy especially for that prominent spot in your front yard. I just hauled 525 litres of dirt home in my little Echo (that's 756 pounds) and I don't think the car was quite built for that kind of weight. The nice guy who loaded the bags of topsoil into my car expressed some concern as the wheel wells sagged down on top of my tires each time he tossed another bag in. I agreed that it was not optimum, but told him I would be careful on the way home and it should be okay. Well, not only did I drive circumspectly for the 7 or so kilometers to my house, I decided not to stop at the Dairy Queen on the way home to buy the box of buster bars I wanted as I figu...

This is a tree just outside of Niagara-on-the-Lake in Ontario. I took this picture last November at way too low a resolution by mistake, but I think it gives the tree a cool jagged effect. At least that's what I tell myself. Here is a story from my past that I have been thinking about lately: I was visiting a church one night with friends and the worship was wonderful and the Spirit was strong and most everyone there sensed God's presence in a tangible way. The worship leader stopped playing and we all just stood in silence for a bit, revelling in the sweetness of it. Then he said, "I think God is saying, 'It doesn't get any better than this.'" Before I could stop myself or even think about what I was doing, I found myself jumping up and down in the front row and yelling, "Yes, it does! It gets WAY better than this!" The worship leader graciously accepted my words and embraced them (love ya, Dan) and no harm was done other than Dean getting embar...

I worked outside for a few hours yesterday on my flowerbeds, getting them ready for the growing season. I don't really like gardening and was sucked into the vortex of jardinage by one of my friends who managed to appeal to my desire to have a colourful and beautiful yard that would increase the resale value of our home. I like being outside and I don't mind manual labour, but for some reason, I just don't get the appeal of plants. I knew I could not procrastinate this work any longer as things were already beginning to sprout and weeds and mulch had to be removed, soil turned, plants trimmed, and several bulbs replanted. Yesterday being a gorgeous day, I donned my favourite shorts that I can't bear to throw away even though they have a rip in them and started to dig in the dirt. Every 10 minutes or so I found myself coming inside to get a drink, go to the bathroom, get another tool, ask Dean a question, eat some yummy dark Belgian chocolate, or blow my nose. It was ki...

This is a picture of Tea's back paws and her tail that I took today. Yesterday a friend talked to me about being healed of her allergy to milk. I got really excited about that because not only do I have way too many friends that suffer from this (including my husband), there is another allergy that I wish everyone could be free from in order that they could spend more time at my house: an allergy to cats. This morning on my way to my last French class of the semester ( yay !) I remembered that a girl who used to live with us was healed of her allergy to cats when she moved into our house. Yes, I reminded myself, God can and does heal these things. A few of us have been talking at church for awhile about wanting to see God heal allergies and when I received the news from my friend this week, I pumped her for information. What were the keys or steps to her getting healed? She gave me a very interesting answer. She said that the first thing she had to do was stop "owning" ...

Here is another amazing Namibia photo taken by Greg Beaudoin. I love the contrast of the road against the sand. I had a bit of a meltdown on Sunday night during worship. We were singing the words, "All I need is You, Jesus." Well, everyone else was singing them and I was just standing there, mute in front of the microphone, trying to stop being distracted and focus on God, when I again heard these words..."Do you believe it?" Argh, so often I get in a spiritual setting and am surrounded by all these faith-filled words, especially in songs, and I do desire to utter true things and the things that I hope for and believe in, but no, I cannot say things lightly and really, don't want to. So anyway, Awa (the worship leader) had given me permission to sing out anything spontaneous and when I found my heart stirred, and saw her encouragement, I started to sing. It was a bit of a mess as I floundered, singing that I wanted to sing the phrase but the word ALL was just to...