outWORD by Matte Downey

I make lists of things that I need to do every day. This breaking down of huge tasks into Matte-size bites is one of the ways I keep from being overwhelmed by the largeness of life. I have developed pretty good habits in order to stay focused and meet deadlines. One of those important habits is to take time for beautiful distractions. They inspire me, they feed my soul, they bring joy, they grow gratitude, and miraculously, never mess up the schedule beyond repair. Here are 10 of my favourite distractions: 1. Going for a walk: in the park, around the block, on the beach, to the store, anywhere and anytime there is always something interesting to be seen and I am just so thrilled to be able to walk and yeah, I occasionally break into a run! 2. Playing with the cat: she purrs, rubs herself against me, chases things and is just so darn cute and fun. Sometimes messy and grouchy, but aren't we all? She is a smaller, furrier, stupider version of me, I think. Aww, she is peeking out at me...

I don't like failing. I don't like being rejected. I don't like hearing the word, "No." I don't like not getting a job I applied for. I don't like asking someone if they want to get together and having them say they just don't have time right now. I don't like sending messages and never getting a reply. I don't like applying for scholarships and getting that letter that starts with, "We regret to inform you..." I don't like putting myself into scenarios where I am not likely to succeed. And I don't think that I am the only one. But that is exactly what life requires. That we try and try again, failure or not. I have started the process of applying for another scholarship. It is a bit of a mental battle because the rejection email from the last one I applied for is still fresh in my mind. A few weeks ago when I saw the spring round of scholarship deadlines come up, my first thought was, "Hey, I should apply for these....

We just lost an hour when we switched to Daylight Saving Time this weekend. Well, nothing was really lost, the numbers were just changed in order to make life brighter and more productive for everyone. I don't know about you, but I could use both of those. Let's hope it works. :-) Time is a funny thing. We treat it like a precious commodity in some ways. We say, "I just don't have the time for x or y anymore." Did we lose it; was it stolen? We say, "I wish I had more time," as if there might be a time depot where we could go to get some. We talk about buying time and spending time, and I guess if you have a cell phone, it sort of applies. "I should make time for that," implies that with the correct ingredients and a good recipe, we could indeed whip some up. Or when we say, "I'll find the time somehow," it conjures up images of an intense hunt for those hours that know how to hide all too well. The truth is, we all start with the ...

I don't understand hate. I am talking about both serious-hate and joking-hate, because let's face it, joking-hate has elements of serious-hate about it or we would never think about giving it the "h" label. Joking about it may indeed be a cathartic way to allow ourselves to feel a bit of the emotion and by treating it lightly, hopefully rid us of the bitterness before it burrows deep inside our souls. That's the best case scenario, but I venture to say that that's not always what happens. I have never had so many people tell me they hate me (and Dean) as this past week while we were in Hawaii. It was ridiculous! And while I know all of them meant it in a joking way, I wonder what they were really trying to say. Was it: "I am jealous that you are warm and I am cold?" "I hate it that I can't take a vacation right now?" "I hate it that you have the means to go there and I don't?" "You are reminding me that I might never ...

In my formative years, I developed quite a lot of rituals and rules to regulate my religion. Part of that came from growing up in a religious environment, but a large part of it came from my need to feel secure and safe. There were prayer patterns that I followed, lines that I vowed never to cross, and obligations that had to be kept or the guilt would come knocking. These days there is much less of this external religious structure in my life. And paradoxically, I know that I am closer to being a friend of God than I was back then. There are less rules to follow and more questions that roll around in my head. Questions that ask...what is real? what is lasting? what is valuable? I am not as concerned with what is right, but more interested in truth that is embodied in a person: authentic, transforming, and challenging. There are less obligations, less guilt, and less predictable patterns. There are two "problems" that have accompanied this gradual change. The first is that th...

We are waiting for a tsunami to hit Hawaii just after 11:00 am. An earthquake in Chile last night set off a large wave in the Pacific Ocean that is heading our way. I heard the news around 11 pm last night. It is strange to receive news that "something" will happen in about 12 hours. This morning a civil defense siren went off at 6 am, and we received a notice from the hotel telling us to stay above the 3rd floor, stay off the beach, fill our bathtub with water in case the water supply is compromised, and prepare for possible evacuation. Stores opened early this Saturday morning; water and other essentials are being snapped up. There are long line-ups at some gas stations. All this information comes from the constant television news coverage here in Hawaii. However, when I look out my window, everything seems normal. There are sailboats on the ocean. People are out for their morning run. The garbage truck came by and picked up the trash on the street. Dean is excited because ...

I am writing this from my hotel room on the 11 th floor, a block from the Pacific Ocean in Honolulu. It is reading week at my university and Dean and I are spending it doing some reading (it is obligatory, I am told) and relaxing with his parents near Waikiki Beach. The trip here on Monday was a bit of an adventure. I have been learning that how the journey happens is not always an indication of success or God's favourable presence in my life. A week ago, I had two days when I had important appointments to keep. On the first day, I missed my first bus because it was early, then missed another connection, and the whole trip was feeling quite out of control and late. However, I got to my appointment with a few minutes to spare, no problem. The next day, I was nice and early for my first bus, caught my second bus just as it was leaving and every step of the way was a picture of clockwork perfection. I got to my appointment a few minutes early, just like the day before. How was it tha...