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Showing posts from January, 2005


There are days when nothing I hear seems totally believable. The words are all inadequate and two-dimensional, lacking the fatness of truth. The situations I encounter seem stilted and detached in some way, as if they were all scripted after the fashion of some forgettable television rerun. Even the air tastes stale and the sunshine is dull and flat.

And then I see a child stare me full in the face without embarrassment, looking to see if I will be their newest friend. The familiar smell of a passing diesel engine reminds me of my father long gone. The random touch of someone I just met laughing at my silly remark makes my skin tingle with the warmth of humanity. I catch the chorus of a new pop song and recognize some familiar longing to be more than the sum of my parts. The taste of my husband's kiss floods my chest with small butterfly sensations. And suddenly I know I am very much alive.

When I find myself sitting in the graveyard of depression, I do not despair, for …

I Think I Finally Get It!

If only learning things were as easy as buying a new pair of shoes! Simply slide my credit card through the old machine, or fork over a few bills, and the acquisition is complete - I can wear the new boots out of the store. One minute the footwear was on the shelf, the next it has become my property to do with as I please. I own it. Alas, gaining knowledge is not that quick of a transition. I am learning a new language and nothing about that process is rapid. Ask any teenager about school and the ensuing groans verify the agonizing length of time it takes to improve their minds to the satisfaction of the school system. But we do have an amazing capacity to learn. Humans have an incredible ability to gather information, make precise observations about the world around them, and develop new skills. But even a student who gets an "A" in Chemisty might not actually "get it." As soon as the course is finished, all that valuable information may be deemed no lon…