outWORD by Matte Downey

I was driving on the way to a church meeting last Sunday when I felt something strange - excitement!!  It had been quite a while since I had felt anticipation in coming to a church meeting.  Lately, it was usually a sense of obligation - a burden I had to carry, a task to accomplish. For me, Sundays include getting there early, setting up, making sure the powerpoint is assembled and the projector/computer working, often helping with worship music, sometimes giving the talk, praying, greeting visitors, and then packing up and locking up.  Sigh of relief!  Yes, I hate to admit it, but for the last little while, I have not looked forward to church gatherings.  So, when I felt a mini sparkler in my stomach last Sunday, it was a pleasant surprise.  The change actually began a week before that while I was giving a talk in the Sunday gathering.  First, you should know that none of us are paid f...

Today, I am reading a wonderful book called Minding the Spirit which is filled with articles by scholars from the field of Christian Spirituality. However, I am not having a wonderful time while doing it. Instead, I find myself suffering from fatigue of the spirit and the mind and the body. I would just like to go sit by the window and read some fiction for a day or two. Or maybe go for a long walk without thinking about my next research project the whole time. The pressure that has been piling itself on top of me these past few weeks, scoop after heavy scoop, is finally starting to dent my usually cheerful and buoyant demeanour. I thrive in a learning environment, but the love and drive for what I am doing has taken a few hits lately, and that makes studying quite a chore. I find myself tempted to walk away, at least for a bit. I won't, but I am tempted. There is the constant pressure to be the brightest and the best, to do well not only in the classroom, but to fill one's re...

I am 16 days away from moving back onto the island of Montreal. In the last few years, almost despite myself, I have developed a strange love for this city and her inhabitants. Quite unnatural, really. Last night as part of our home group session on taking risks in areas that we have had bad experiences in, we were wandering the streets on the lookout for anyone that we could connect with and show some love to. We started out at Second Cup but soon realised that everyone was in their own little world: on their laptops, reading, or talking intimately with a group of friends. Not much of a place to connect. So we headed out down Parc Avenue to see whom we would meet. The streets were pretty empty and as we walked on, I felt this love grow big inside me and I yelled out some spontaneous thanks and prayers to God to bless this place. Yes, we were on our way to changing the world, I could feel it. On the way b ack up Parc to fetch my car, my friend and I came upon a lady with several la...