outWORD by Matte Downey

Comic by Joel Micah Harris at xkcd.com One of my favourite jokes goes like this: Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow w--- Moooooooo!! Timing is important in both drama and comedy. A well-paced story draws the audience in and helps it invest in the characters, while a tale too hastily told or too long drawn out will fail to engage anyone. Surprise - something which interrupts the expected - is a creative use of timing and integral to any good story. If someone is reading a novel and everything unfolds in a predictable manner, they will probably wonder why they bothered reading the book. And so it is in life. Having life be predictable all of the time is not as calming as it sounds. We love surprises, especially good surprises like birthday parties, gifts, marriage proposals, and finding something that we thought was lost. Surprises are an important part of humour. A good joke is funny because it goes to a place you didn't expect it to go. Sim...

A: Knock, knock! B: Who's there? A: Interrupting cow B: Interrupting c--- A: Moooooooooo! Timing is tricky. In comedy. In music. In cooking. In relationships. In life. Sometimes it is hard to know when the time is right for action and when it is better to wait. Let's ask the tomatoes for wisdom. I am not the world's greatest gardener by any means, but I have grown quite a few things in my day; when I was a child on the farm, my mother had the generous foresight to assign me two rows in her garden every year to plant whatever my little heart desired. So I grew the things I loved: corn, peas, watermelon, and one year, a whole row of bright red poppies. Now that I live in an urban setting, I grow things in pots on my balcony. This year I planted Sweet 'n' Neat Cherry tomatoes. The plant is doing better than I anticipated: very early it started to produce bunches of little green balls. Each day I go out, water it, and check for ripe fruit. Just because a tomat...

I have been looking through some of the pictures I took on our road trip to the East Coast this past weekend. The scenery through northern Maine was beautiful, as was the foggy, rugged landscape of New Brunswick. We didn't have a lot of time to trek around outside, so many of the pictures I took were through the windshield of a moving car. Now that I take a closer look at the the photographs, I can see all the bug guts splayed on the windshield, distracting from magnificent sunsets and lush greenery. I also notice all too many blurred images that indicate we were rushing past some amazing scene at high speed, and all I could do was capture an indistinct representation of its uniqueness. Sigh. Such is life. We see indistinctly and we hurry through. I often view the beauty of this world through the bug-spatter of my life's idiosyncratic paradoxes. Incredible scenes play out before my eyes even while small deaths are happening all around me. And if I am not attentive, bri...

Dear Mr. 2010: I haven't really spent a lot of time with you yet, but I already like you. Even though it's only been a few days, you have shown me incredible highs and exhausting lows. I like someone with good range. I want to make sure that I take the time to sit and stare at you at different moments, drinking in your cute button nose with so much potential for beauty and sensitivity, and appreciating your deepening lines of experience. I won't make a big deal about your age, I promise, but will be grateful for every day as it comes to me, arms open wide to embrace its soft graces or its prickly challenges. I will try not to complain nor compare one day to another, because all days are food to my soul: some are broccoli, some are chocolate, and some are bitter but helpful medicine. I will try to never speak badly of your predecessors, for they were just writing the story that we gave them. It would be great if we could always be in sync and never irritated with each other,...

This is from a talk I gave at our church gathering last night. I have been feeling somewhat empty in the last month or two. I can't explain exactly why that is, but it has thrust me into a quest to pursue more wholeness in my life and hard as it may be at times, it is a very worthwhile journey. Yesterday as I was thinking about the difference between emptiness and fullness, I decided to explore the classic "half empty or half full" question. I held up a glass and asked, "What is this?" The answer came back: "An empty glass." I filled a glass halfway with water and set it on the table. I asked, "Is this half full?" "Yes," was the response. Then I asked, "Is it half empty?" The response was again positive. Then I submerged an empty glass into a large bowl of water and we all watched the liquid poured into it. I raised it up. "Is this glass full?" I queried. "Yes," people called out. Then I took another ...

I just finished my last exam this morning. Well, let me qualify that: my last exam which completed my qualifying year for the MA in Theological Studies program. Beginning in September, I will be a full-fledged Masters student. I also have one final project to complete for my online worship course (stay tuned, it should be posted here in a few days) and then...I don't know. Perhaps I will read a book or go outside for a walk or do something crazy like watch television. Anything could happen. This in-between time, when one thing is coming to a close and new things are on the horizon is exciting and fragile. Like the green sprouts outside my front door, this transition phase needs careful tending in order to grow into something big and strong and beautiful. I am still learning to do this well. Too often I start something and then neglect it when I get distracted or busy. Or I jump ahead in the game and try to use a skill before I have taken the time to really learn the basics well. S...

Well, I am finished. My university courses for the term, that is. I handed in my last paper on Tuesday, all 43 pages of it. After I walked out of the Department of Theology office door, having just deposited the precious envelope, I decided that the occasion merited a bit of a celebration. I bought a bag of Old Dutch sour cream 'n' onion chips, a bottle of New Leaf Green Tea, got on the subway, and ate my small meal of victory while reading Ben Hur on the way home. Pretty crazy party, I know. And despite being really happy that the research and writing and putting words and thoughts together in a profound and clear way are done for the moment, I found myself slightly less excited about being able to get on with day to day life now. Dentist and vet and car appointments and laundry and cleaning the bathroom and Christmas shopping don't have the same lustre as grappling with theological and philosophical questions. This should be a season of rest, but I am restless. My mind ...

I am getting used to being somewhat perpetually tired and hungry, at least Monday to Friday. It is good for me. It puts things in another perspective. Some ugly thing called worry wants me to believe that there is never enough time, but I know that there will always be just the right amount of time each day to be the person I am to be and do the things that God sees as important right now. And there always is. God can be trusted regarding time. Seeing that play out every day is like witnessing the miracle of sunrise over and over again; no matter how many times I experience it, it still takes my breath away and extracts a sigh of gratefulness and wonder. The other impulse I have the joy of engaging and seeking to get some self-control over is the one that raises its horny head when my reserves are down. When missing the recommended amount of food and sleep, the needy devil starts to scream for all kinds of soul fast food to satiate its selfish appetite. It wants attention lav...

My sincere apologies for the lack of posts here lately. My schedule is slightly overfull these days due to being a full-time student, a part-time administrator, and a willing volunteer with several leadership roles that I continue to fill in our church group. Most weekdays it is a challenge just to make sure I get some real food in my stomach and a reasonable amount of sleep. This week I have not done too well on either of those counts, but hey, this is a no whining zone, so let's get on with the important stuff. I have a giant can of Arizona green tea with ginseng and honey and a yummy apple and cheese salad in front of me, plus I had a little nap today when I got home at 5:30, so we're all good. I have often said to myself (and whoever will listen to me) that if this faith, this truth, this belief that God is good and loving and wants to be with us and infuse our lives with meaning and purpose - if this truth is no good under stress, then what good is it? If I get grumpy and ...

I am supposed to be outside right now. This morning, I did all my correspondence and inside work, then started to get ready to head outside on a grand walk to run a lot of errands, buy some food, check out a new hairdresser and maybe even the library. As I looked at my grocery list, I decided I would need my backpack to carry the milk and orange juice, so I scooped a sleeping feline off my black canvas bag and was annoyed to find it covered in cat fur. Egads , these cats need to pick a different spot to sleep than on my backpack! I began to brush and wipe and clean the stubbornly sticky tufts of brown fur off the bag and was starting to get slightly disgusted with how slow and unproductive I can be sometimes when I heard the light patter and then the pounding torrent of water on the roof. At that moment, I thanked God for Jazz and fur and slowness. Here I sit inside and dry instead of being caught unaware in the rain, far from any shelter. The best plans of man (and woman and cat) are ...