Wednesday, April 25, 2007

sompthings not right

I have not been feeling quite right for a few days. I don't know what it is, but my chests feels like Tea is standing on it and I am hit with unexplainable fatigue at about 5 in the afternoon. Yesterday it was pretty bad and I was afraid it was pneumonia again (no no no don't want to do that over), but I realised I was missing the key symptom of fever, so I resisted the urge to let the fear become the sickness, and decided a bit of rest and good eats should get me over whatever it is.
In other areas of life, things are just a bit off and I can't put my finger on exactly what it is. That makes it really hard to do anything about it. In our little church, something seems to be lacking or changed or not done with the same intensity or focus. I talked to someone recently who had the same feeling about their work. Last night I watched an episode of "House" while waiting for Dean to get home and as always, the doctors were confronted with a mystifying case - unrelated symptoms and no idea what was really going on. One doctor said it was most likely cancer so they radiated the woman. Shortly after that she developed further symptoms which made it clear she was fighting a bizarre infection and by giving her radiation treatment, they had wiped out her immune system which she needed to fight off the infection and in the end, she died (sorry about that depressing story, but there is a point). They were so desparate to do something that they did the wrong thing and harmed her instead of helping her. Now I love medicine and doctors and wonder drugs and all the rest, but they only help the body with the healing process - they cannot be the healing. God designed the body to heal itself and if we can just get the obstacles out of the way that are stopping it from doing just that, the healing will come.
When you don't quite know what's going on, I think the best thing to do is ask God and wait. Nobody likes waiting. We would rather be flailing our efforts about and doing something, even the wrong thing, rather than waiting for the situation to clarify or God to intervene. But our good intentions (or shall I call them guesses?) can wipe out the very thing God is bringing about to rectify the situation. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait on the Lord.
This wonderful dog was caught enjoying the water on the quay at Ste-Anne's last summer. Andy, Emma and Dean's feet stand watch.

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