I climbed a fence yesterday, trespassing onto an old lady's yard (she wasn't home, we checked) in order to retrieve the bottle of Perrier I had knocked off a friend's balcony. All went well until I caught the sleeve of my favourite black t-shirt on a pole climbing back into the alley. Riiiiipppppp! Oh well. Perhaps it would have been easier to just go out and buy another bottle? Oh, to have the wisdom to know when to spend my energy on rescue efforts and when to move on to something new.
We are in the midst of negotiating a private sale on our house in which we will not make any money, but be able to walk away immediately. Part of me is saying, "Hey, I thought God wanted us to stay here and restore this house." The other part is saying, "The important thing right now is to move downtown in order to build community and invest in others."
I don't know exactly what God is doing here, but I am willing to let go of my perfect scenario in which we sell the house for a nice profit, move on to a beautiful funky loft with lots of space for visitors and informal gatherings, and live happily ever after with lots of cool people around us. In this case, I believe I need more rescuing than my house. I have been relying on the potential profit to provide for us. I have been seeing myself as a saviour of broken things. I have cast myself in the part of the gregarious host that everyone wants to be near.
I am indeed a crooked and cracked home of holiness and love. Oh God, rescue me from my slide towards the sinking ground of self-sufficiency. Let me stand solid on your provision, know from experience your ability to save any mess, and move aside to let you be the most attractive and desired person in any room.
This is my prayer today.
And this is a photo of snow still melting, eaves troughs ready to direct spring rains, and a sunny shadow outside my window just an hour ago.