Sunday, June 10, 2007

my unperfect life



Someone disappointed me this weekend. Somehow, after all this time living this life, it still shocked, surprised and offended me. I know my reaction was not a perfect one - silly how I can have an imperfect reaction to an imperfect world and think it is somehow justified or right or will work for me in some way just like expecting two wrongs to make a right. And oh yes, I feel somewhat excused from being part of the overall problem since I am only reacting and I did not actually DO anything.

Sigh. This persistent need for someone to recognise my value is so misplaced at times, and I don't know if the answer is to let it all go or to lovingly communicate to a person how their actions have hurt me and my ability to trust them. Any scenario I go through in my mind regarding the latter confrontation always end up in a mess, so maybe the best thing is just to let it go and realise that God is much better at teaching people and maturing them than I am since his motives are never personal nor vindictive and his lessons always pure and unselfish.
This imperfect picture was taken just a few minutes ago outside my house. The power line and the house roof throw the whole beautiful sky/flower/tree composition out of balance, but that's life. I will not let the unwanted elements subtract any value or beauty from the flowers, blue sky, whispy clouds or background tree in full leaf.

And to the left is another picture I thought was of some nice plants in front of my house but the centrepiece of the picture turned out to be a spider! (shaking my head and laughing)

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