thoughts on my birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. My 50th birthday. Some people think that's a big deal. To me, it is just a number that states how many days I have had the privilege of waking up and getting out of bed to explore life. And that thought causes my heart to become full and expand with a whole lot of thankfulness and awe at life itself. Yes, indeed. These were some thoughts I had yesterday:

I get to open my eyes every morning and see sunlight. Some days it is full-on, unclouded, make-your-eyes-hurt, kind of sunshine that greets me. Other days it is misty, rainy, curtained light, but it is always light. And I am blessed to see it every day.

I get to wake up next to a warm, cuddly, funny, wise, generous, and faithful man every day. He often stares at me with adoring eyes, and takes me on dates pretty much every week. He can fix almost anything electronic and always knows where we parked. He can keep a steady beat no matter how eratic and chaotic the sounds are around him. I am blessed to have such a hug-able rock in my life.

I get to go to university and enlarge my mind and my heart. I read things that challenge me and make me think about why I do the things I do. I meet people that are walking much different paths than I am, and get to walk together with them for a bit. I am student and teacher and child and mentor all at the same time. I am blessed to be in a learning environment every day.

I love our condo and being in it every day. I love its vaulted ceilings and all its stairs. My legs go up and down hundreds of steps every day, without hesitation. I love to chase the cat around the house, scoop her up in my arms, and laugh over her silly antics. I love to open my fridge and see a great big jug of orange juice. I love stumbling down the stairs in the morning and having that first, thirst-quenching draught of orange, pulpy goodness. I love to stand on my balcony and see the planes fly overhead. I love to listen to the sound of my neighbourhood. I love to study in silence and burst into spontaneous little songs of joy that make no sense to anyone but me. I love the bus drivers who drive past my condo and make it possible for me to get around Montreal without a car.

I love the nearness of Friend and Father. Sometimes I have felt the lack of both, since my father died when I was in my early 20's and friends come and go in our transient world. But there is one Friend who is always available to hang out. And there is a Father who is always looking out for my best interests when I am too naive or stupid or stubborn to make the right decision.

I love today. It is built on a lot of yesterdays that were all good in their own way, but nothing compares to today. It is special. It invites me to come and romp around in it with all my might. It welcomes me to rest and savour and enjoy the moment in a spirit of gratitude. It declares that God's goodness is written all over my life, whether I recognise it or not. It shines!

May I shine every day, too!

These were some vegetables at the St-Norbert market at the end of August. Brilliant!

Names of God

The Hebrew word "YHWH" (read from right to left) This past Sunday I gave a talk on the Names of God, the beginning of a series on this topic. This first talk was to be a gentle introduction so I thought it wouldn't take too many hours of preparation. Well, I quickly discovered that the research is almost bottomless; every time I thought I had a somewhat definitive list of names, I found another source which added a few more or gave a different twist on some of the names I had already come across. After several hours I was getting overwhelmed by the sheer amount of data (and that was only looking at the Hebrew Bible). I wondered how I could present this to people in an orderly and accessible fashion and within a reasonable time frame. Not everyone is up for a 3-hour lecture crammed full of detail on a Sunday morning. So I took a break and spent a bit of time meditating on this problem and asking the Spirit for guidance. And then I thought that being overwhelmed by Go...

soul refrigerator

I went grocery shopping yesterday and came home with three bags of food. After I unpacked them all, this is what my fridge looked like: really empty. How does that happen? How can I feel so full and ready for any food emergency one moment, and after one quick glance, realise that I have nothing, really? Today is one of those days in my soul as well. I woke up with gratitude and fullness in my heart, ready to take on this day and all the wonderful opportunities that it presented. Then I caught a brief glance of some emptiness in my life and bam - my buoyancy was compromised. For the past few hours I have been treading water, trying to keep my head in a positive space, bobbing in and out of disappointment, and catching myself whining with pathetic indignity at the cement blocks of other people's stupidity that are tangled around my ankles. When I am staring at the empty refrigerator of my soul, these are my thoughts. Where do I go from here? Perhaps I should slam that refrigerator ...

3 blog time stealers

Things have a been a bit slow in my blog-world lately because my usual schedule has been disrupted by wonderful but time-consuming events. ONE: I opened my first exhibit of photos this week. It is kind of a strange sensation to see ones art displayed in a public setting and have people study it up close and offer their comments. I have been pleasantly surprised by the reaction of all and am always amazed by the wonderful support of the folks in our church group and my friends from all walks of life. One of them even compared the dilapidated old stone church basement with fluorescent lighting where the exhibit is being held to the humble beginnings of some famous artist whose name I can't remember right now. I like the concept of humble beginnings because it is something Jesus loves as well. And beauty shows well in humble beginnings. TWO: I have been helping a far-off friend search for an apartment in Montreal. She emails me the details of a place she is interested in and I go sc...

outWORD by Matte Downey

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