Thursday, May 06, 2010

strike one

You don't always hit a home run the first time you swing a bat. When I look back at a lot of different situations in my life, you'd think I would know this by now. But many times I still have the unrealistic expectation of getting things right and making it all come together on the first go. This miscalculation has cost me a lot of hope. And made me drop my faith at times. I have also wasted precious time wallowing in dejected disappointment instead of readying myself for the next swing.

I remember the first time Dean and I visited the model condos in an up and coming neighbourhood in Montreal. We loved the open floorplans, the hardwood everywhere, the mezzanine overlooking the living space, and the vaulted ceilings. We also saw the price tag and realised that we could not afford to live there. It became that illusive dream home that we would never have. Ten years after that initial visit, I sit here under my vaulted ceiling a few blocks from that model condo and write this blog.

Then there was the time we were apartment hunting in Stratford. We found a place that we both really liked, but by the time I called the landlord back, he had already rented the place to someone else. I couldn't believe it! Instead, we ended up in a unique temporary living situation. Six months later, when we had to leave that place, the exact same apartment came up for rent again! This time we got it.

The first job I applied for when we moved to Ontario was at a world-famous theatre. It was my dream place to work. Nothing came of it, so I searched for other employment, applying for over 10 jobs and getting nothing. It was depressing, and I finally went on unemployment. While talking to a job counsellor some months later, she mentioned that there was an opening at the theatre, but you had to be collecting EI benefits to qualify for it. Imagine that. I took it and worked at the theatre in numerous capacities for 5 memorable years.

Those are a few stories of successful second tries that I can tell from the perspective of time, but there are a lot of places in my life right now where I have yet to hit the ball. I have done a fair share of swinging , but nothing has connected. It is tempting to toss the bat aside and walk off the field. It is tempting to think, "What's the point?" But strike one is never the end. Strike one is not reason enough to give up. Strike one means that I'm still in the middle of the game, it's still my turn, and I've got to give it another go or two if I want to see how things turn out.

One night when the sky was bright and pink, I went for a drive and shot a series of photos. The photo at the top is the first one I took and a number of shots later, I got the one at the bottom.

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