Skip to main content


Some people have observed how very different Dean and I are (aside from sharing basic humanity and love for God). It's true. Here is just a short list to give you a taste:

1. He has a mild allergy to sunlight and is quite uncomfortable in the summer heat (I have seen him break out in hives from lack of air conditioning).

2. I have something nicknamed "winter itch," a form of dermatitis (mild skin condition) that only shows up in a cold and dry climate. Expose me to some summer sun and moist air and it clears up nicely.

3. Dean loves meat and is a card-carrying carnivore.

4. I am mostly vegetarian, living on fruit, vegetables, cheese, and popcorn.

5. Dean prefers action movies, science fiction television shows, and video games for his recreational activities.

6. I would rather take a walk outside or read a book.

7. Dean can listen to the radio, watch something on his ipod, be playing a game on the computer, talk on the phone, and be researching something online all at the same time.

8. I am a fabulous mono-tasker and work best in total silence.

I could go on about Dean's allergy to scents and my attraction to strong men's colognes, or the hard/soft bed issue, even our love of and lack of athleticism, and how we deal with conflict (run towards or away from), but I think you get the idea.

Some people have marvelled that we are still together. Smaller things have torn many couples apart. I will admit that we have our disagreements, but on the whole, life is interesting and enjoyable together. Why?

Because love will go the farthest distance and bridge the largest gap. It does not require someone to come to it; love goes where it is needed. The more differences we have, the greater opportunity for us to let love into those places. I do not want to change Dean into another version of me; in fact, I love being able to experience a whole other world through him. But I also know that love is not something I can conjure up from inside of me, dispensing it when necessary. It is only present to the degree that I am humble enough to accept it from the Divine Lover of my own quirky soul. When I surrender to Love, that is when I suddenly (or many times, over the long haul) find myself able to love well, cover the huge distances with grace and joy, and never grow tired in it.

The shortest distance between two points may be a straight line, but the longest distances between two people can only be navigated by love. Nothing else will build a strong enough and lasting link.
This is a picture of me and Dean in Ste-Anne-de-Bellevue a few years ago. Photo credit to Andy Winmill.


Popular posts from this blog

what binds us together?

For the past few weeks, I have been reading a book by famed psychiatrist M. Scott Peck which chronicles his travels (together with his wife) through remote parts of the UK in search of prehistoric stones. The book is part travel journal, part spiritual musings, part psychology, and part personal anecdotes. A mixed bag, to be sure, and not always a winning combination. At one point, I considered putting the book aside, not finishing it, but then Peck started writing about community. He is no stranger to the concept. He has led hundreds of community-building workshops over the years, helped start a non-profit organisation dedicated to fostering community, and written a compelling book about the topic, one which greatly impacted me when I read it oh so long ago.[1]

In preparation for a course I am teaching next year, I have been doing quite a bit of study on unity and community. Once you start thinking about it, you see and hear evidence of it everywhere. (See my blog on the impact of b…

job hunting

I am on the hunt for a job. PhD in hand, I am a theologian for hire. The thing is, not a lot of places are hiring theologians these days, and if they are, they are usually looking for scholars with skills and experience outside my area of expertise. Today I found job opportunities for those knowledgeable in Religion, Race, and Colonialism, Philosophy and History of Religion, Islam and Society, Languages of Late Antiquity, Religion, Ethics, and Politics, and an ad for a Molecular Genetic Pathologist. Not one posting for a Dramatic Theologian with  a side order of Spirituality and a dash of Methodology.

I know, I know. My expectations are a bit unrealistic if I believe I will find an exact match for my particular skills. I know that job descriptions are wish lists to some extent, so no candidate is ever a perfect match. I also realize that one must adapt one's skill set according to the requirements of the job and be flexible. But there are so few jobs which come within ten or even…

building the church

Imagine two scenarios: 1) Give every person in the room a popsicle stick. Ask them to come together and put their sticks onto a table. Invariably, you end up with a random pile of sticks on a table. 2) Give every person in the room a popsicle stick. Show a picture of a popsicle stick bird feeder and ask people to come together and put their sticks on a table according to the picture. You will end up with the beginnings of a bird feeder on a table.

What is the difference between the two scenarios? In both, each person brought what they had and contributed it to the collective. However, in the first scenario, there were no guidelines, no plan, and no right or wrong way to pile the sticks. People came, placed their sticks on the table, and walked away. In the second scenario, people were given a plan to follow and as a result, something specific was built. Instead of walking away after they made their contribution, people huddled around the table to watch what was being built. Some were…