Monday, June 30, 2008

confession from the bed

I judge people. I was sitting on my bed on Sunday afternoon, having just read some of the book of Daniel, and I started to confess this. God, I go around judging people. Yep, that's what I do. That's what I did this weekend. I judge people. I don't like it, it doesn't help anyone, but there you have it. I am a wanna-be judge. And God asked me, Do you know why you do this? hmmm, well, okay, why do I do that which I am not proud of?

There are certain things that are very important to me. They are emphases in my life that I believe God has put there. One of them is faithfulness. Another is truth. I love these things and have worked hard to grow and mature in them in my life. I am constantly aware of how important these things are, how vital they are to God's character and therefore, to mine. But, alas, because I have invested so much in pursing these precious traits, when I encounter someone who treats them lightly, who does not hold them with the same regard as I do, I get annoyed. You know, REALLY annoyed. And it is but a short hop and skip from beholding a certain ignorance or lack in these areas, to judging people and their utter, and no doubt deliberate (at least in my mind) desecration of all things I hold dear. They do not measure up to my measuring stick, they fall short of my expectations and guidelines, and they are only worthy of being judged by someone who is higher, better, and more righteous in these things; which is me, of course. (You have to read some sarcasm into this.) And so I judge. And I condemn. And I get annoyed. Really badly. And everyone can tell, because I do not hide my feelings well.

As the confession on the bed grew in ugliness, I was surprised not to feel condemned. Instead, I sensed a gentle but firm correction. You are not responding in the right way, God said. Yes, I have put a certain passion in your heart for these things in order to show the world what I am like. But you have not been showing, you have been judging. You can't do both. Either you show my character or you judge. You decide.

Please, let me show instead of judge. Let me show God off.

These are the beauties in front of my condo, showing off some of God's lavishness.

1 comment:

Shelley said...

yea...for sure. I even love those two things you mentioned, faithfulness and truth. cool.

Judging seems to be second nature to me too. I have learned the hard way that I can be right and lose relationships. Or I can be quiet and respectful that others' journeys don't mirror mine. grrr...

I am always giving judgements over to the Lord, the only just judge...regularly...

I love how David (bible David) loved justice and in the Psalms he was always ranting against wrongs, but then asking God to act justly for him. I am trying to do that, and just turn things over to our just God often, like David did.