Tuesday, February 12, 2008

just around the corner?

I am trying hard to have a positive attitude, but today has been a pretty shitty day. I listened to professionals tell me how bad things are with my house and how uncooperative people might be in working things out and how incredibly long this restoration process might take and even then things might not be totally put back and we might be out thousands of dollars and oh yeah it might be a good idea to hire a lawyer. I missed breakfast for this?

I opened my bible to Isaiah for some encouragement and it said...

Do what's right and do it in the right way, For salvation is just around the corner, my setting-things-right is about to go into action. (from Isaiah 56 The Message)

So here I live, in the day or week or month or year before salvation and setting things right. And I don't care for this place much at all. Partly because pre-salvation feels pretty much like no salvation. But mostly because when things are kicked out from under me, I realise just how much I have built my life on everything else in this world and how much I rely on the system to keep me going and content and how little I rest on the eternal truth that is Jesus.

Today I say these words, and perhaps tomorrow I will be able to believe them: On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand. (-Keith W. Ward)

This is a happy flower beside my house in another season.

2 comments:

shane magee said...

sounds like you're having a grim time especially when you'd got your heart set on leaving this house behind. not good. i pray the lord's peace for your heart in these troubled times, though i'm the last person to be telling you how to handle this as i've been tearing my hair out waiting for the future to arrive already!

i love your line "pre-salvation feels pretty much like no salvation" matte. there's a whole apophatic theology to be written on that.

Matte Downey said...

thanks Shane. The house falling apart thing does not upset me as much as how it leaves us stuck here indefinitely when we both feel the need to be downtown in closer community. today I am one day closer, I guess...