Friday, September 07, 2007

let's talk about grace...

I am currently on a road trip so have not been blogging much. One of the stops we made was New York City and as we walked past this building near Times Square on Tuesday, I just had to stop and take a picture. The word just seemed to leap out at me from the stark white background.

And later on that day, I had an experience which made it plain that I still do not walk in this element as much as I could or should or want to. It seems that I still hold myself to some sort of arbitrary standard of performance and expect a certain level of righteousness and competence from myself and when for some reason, I am unable to deliver, I just feel horrible about myself and wonder if I have any value at all and deem it unlikely that I can ever do anything right again. I know, I know, I can blow things way out of proportion, but that is the way I feel sometimes and as God so gently reminded me a few days ago, this is not walking in grace.

Grace is a field God has invited me to freely run in, and I am determined to spend more time exploring this wide open space instead of trudging through a self-made fenced-in maze of unattainable expectations.

1 comment:

Shelley said...

It is a bit scary that it is such a wide open space, isn't it? Fences seem so much more secure and controlled, even if they are a maze. At least I can feel like I am going somewhere...and like I won't get way off track.