I went on a roller coaster last night called "Goliath." Dean convinced me to get in line and I spent the whole 10 minutes plodding along and whining, saying I didn't want to do it. In no time at all we were strapped into a row of seats and the girl beside me said, "I changed my mind, I don't want to do this anymore," and I replied, "Me too!" As the roller coaster began its chug up the steep incline, I could feel all the blood draining from my face and I began to pray. I really hate the sensation of fear and how it cripples me. When we crested the top of the first peak, everything stopped for a second and then we were plummeting towards the ground totally weightless at an alarmingly steep angle (I actually think it was no angle at all, just straight DOWN!). At some point in the latter part of this dive, something in my mind embraced reality and realised that this was just a ride, and in an instant the fear vanished and was replaced with delight. I began to smile and giggle.
Dean was laughing out loud beside me and I started to exclaim with glee everytime I lifted out of my seat, which was pretty much half of the ride. What a rush! We got off the ride and I would have gone right back on for another round if I could have.
I was talking to someone this week about some of the issues I am grappling with in my life and it became clear that I subscribe to fantasy instead of truth sometimes. What I make up in my own head becomes my own personal version of what is going on and it is sadly inaccurate many times. This morning I laid in bed and repented for believing my own perceptions which all too often are rooted in fears or inadequacies.
Jesus, help me know and embrace and operate from the basis of the whole truth which is YOU.
This photo was taken in my bathroom during an informal photo assignment.