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We all have a need to belong. This seems obvious. But what is not as obvious is that we also need to dissent, to set ourselves apart from the group. Belonging makes us part of something bigger than ourselves. It gives us a place to call home, a place to feel secure and safe. But without dissent, we become indistinct, a group member with no unique identity or will. Without dissent, we end up going along with everything the group does, no questions asked, a participant in dysfunctional groupthink. Any parent or psychologist will tell you that it is important and healthy for a child to learn dissent in their formative years. We need both belonging and dissent in order to be fully human.
When we are experiencing some form of exile (dislocation and separation from what is familiar), belonging is harder to come by, but still vital. In less than ideal situations, we especially need those elements which give us a sense of home and familiarity, some reassurance that we are not abandoned or alone. Without belonging, we resort to survival mode, and that is unsustainable over the long term. On the other hand, if we accept everything that is presented to us, especially when we are dislocated in some way, we run the risk of diminishing our ability to think and act independently. Without dissent, we become institutionalized, substituting compliance for belonging.
Two biblical stories which illustrate the interplay between belonging and dissent are that of Daniel and Esther.
The book of Daniel opens with these words: "In the third year of the rule of Judah’s King Jehoiakim, Babylon’s King Nebuchadnezzar came to Jerusalem and attacked it." [1] The Babylonian king ended up taking the riches of Jerusalem back to Babylon: precious goods from the temple and the finest of Jerusalem's youth: "good-looking young men without defects, skilled in all wisdom, possessing knowledge, conversant with learning, and capable of serving in the king’s palace." [2] Among the spoils were Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. The young men were given education in Babylonian culture, literature, religion, and language. There were also assigned Babylonian names. Daniel's name went from "God is my Judge" to "Protect the life of the king" (Belteshazzar).
As part of their formation for service in Babylon, the young men were entitled to food and wine from the king's rations. Daniel declined to partake in the king's food and appealed to the chief official for an exception. After a brief trial period, this exemption was granted to Daniel and his companions. Why did Daniel accept education in Babylonian culture and a new Babylonian name, but not Babylonian food? A change in diet seemed like the least objectionable of the three. It is likely that the first two were non-negotiable due to the fact that they directly impacted the young men's usefulness to the king. Early in his exile, Daniel intuited that it was important to dissent in some way in order to maintain a sense of his Hebrew identity and reaffirm his loyalty to YHWH. By requesting an alternative diet, Daniel was setting himself apart. Even though Daniel served in the royal house for the rest of his days, every time he ate, he remembered that his home and identity were not in Babylon.
Hadassah (Esther) was another person who had to resist the pull to comply with every demand of the empire. Esther, a descendant of the Jewish exiles who were taken to Babylon by Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel's time, lived in the Persian empire under King Ahasuerus. At one of the royal feasts, Queen Vashti refused to dance for the king and his guests, and as a result, was dethroned. The search for a new queen began with the king's commissioners taking beautiful young virgins from every province into the king's harem. One of these young women was Hadassah (Esther). Raised by her cousin, Mordecai, she followed his advice not to reveal her Jewish heritage. Her compliance and desire to please soon found her favour in the royal house and she was made the new queen.
When Mordecai overheard a plot to kill the king, he mentioned it to Queen Esther and she passed along the information, thus preventing an assassination attempt. Haman, one the king's officials, became offended at Mordecai for not showing him deferential respect. When Naman discovered that Mordecai was a Jew, he hatched a plot to kill all the Jews and had no problem getting the king to issue an edict to that effect. Cousin Mordecai instructed Esther to appeal to the king to stop this genocide, but Esther was hesitant. She remembered what had happened to Queen Vashti and knew that challenging an order from the king could go badly for her. Mordecai told her that by saving her people, she was saving herself, so Esther revealed her identity and made the request. The king, reminded that Modecai the Jew had saved his life, was sympathetic to Esther's request. Though he did not retract the edict, he gave the Jews permission to assemble and protect themselves against their enemies.
Esther had spent her life passing as a daughter of Babylon because things went well for her when she did so. She had learned how to belong by being compliant and fitting in. She was hesitant to dissent and put all that at risk. But when the life of her cousin and her people were at risk, she drew the line. She dissented. She remembered that though she was a Babylonian queen, she was first a Jew in exile.
I have used the terms belonging and fitting in somewhat interchangeably, but they are not exactly the same thing. Brene Brown writes about the difference between the two as described by eighth-graders. "Belonging is being somewhere where you want to be, and they want you. Fitting in is being somewhere where you want to be, but they don't care one way or the other. Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else. If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in." [3] Dissent often reveals if there are any conditions to belonging. In the stories of Daniel and Esther, much of their belonging was dependent on fitting in. They put their lives on the line when they dissented, and later in the story of Daniel, he received a death sentence for his refusal to go along with every rule of the empire. YHWH delivered him from that fate, but not all dissenting worshippers of YHWH experienced divine rescue.
When we are in some version of exile, separated from that which is familiar, living with uncertainty due to everchanging landscapes and loyalties, we can be tempted to lean so far into belonging or fitting in that we neglect dissent. Exile chips away at our sense of belonging, so it is important that we find places where we can fit in and feel like we are part of something beyond ourselves. But it is also vital that we do not lose our ability to dissent in order to affirm our (or another person's) humanity, value, identity, culture, freedom to worship, and sense of who the Creator made us to be.
Another way of looking at belonging and dissent is the sacred yes and the sacred no. Richard Rohr explains: "By the sacred yes or sacred no I mean that affirmation or negation that comes from a deep place of wisdom and courage, even if it creates conflict or disagreement. The sacred yes is not willful or egocentric, but rather is willing and surrendered. The sacred no is not rebellion or refusal, but always the necessary protecting of boundaries." [4]
True belonging requires mutuality between parties. If one party is always the compliant or submissive one, it is not true belonging. It is a power dynamic. True belonging makes room for the sacred no. Dissenting is the courageous means by which we protect ourselves and others who are at risk of being subjugated or erased or disregarded.
In Matthew 22, we find a story where the religious leaders try to trap Jesus with a question: Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not? Jesus responds by pointing to a coin which has the image of Caesar imprinted on it. Then he invokes the language of belonging: "Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God." [5] The implication is that those things marked by the image of Caesar (or any ruler or government) belong to Caesar, but those who bear the image of God belong to God. And nothing can erase that divine belonging. Not even dissent.
Like Daniel and Esther, may we never forget that we belong to God, And may we remember that anything which threatens to denigrate that belonging might require our dissent.
Courage, my friends.
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[1] Daniel 1:1, Common English Bible
[2] Daniel 1:4, CEB
[3] Brene Brown, Braving the Wilderness (New York: Random House, 2017), 160.
[4] Fr. Bob Connor, "Naming the Father Hunger." Interview with Richard Rohr. March 6, 2020. https://actingpersonblog.wordpress.com/2020/03/06/naming-the-father-hunger-richard-rohr/
[5] Matthew 22:21, CEB
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