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In English, kindness is defined as being friendly, generous, and considerate. Kindness is when someone gives up their seat on the bus for an elderly gentleman. Or lets someone go in front of them in a line. Or offers to pay for a stranger's coffee. However, the word translated as kindness in the New Testament is a bit more robust than our English version. Chrestotes (Gk) combines the ideas of goodness and kindness. It stems from a root which means well-fit for use, what is really needed. Chrestotes means integrity, moral goodness, and rightness as well as harmlessness (something is benign) or kindness. It is translated as goodness, do good, uprightness, kindness, and gentleness in the New Testament. But none of these words captures the dual idea of not only doing good or right but also doing it in a kind way, in a way which causes no harm. Chrestotes addresses not only what we do (rightness) but how we do it (kindness).
Kindness and goodness originate in the character of God. We are to be kind and good to others because this is God's posture toward us, even when we do not return the favour. Kindness and goodness are to be part of our identities as followers of Jesus. When Jesus addresses a group gathered on the plain, he says: "I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never - I promise - regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind (chrestotes); you be kind" (Luke 6:35-36, The Message).
Paul, in writing to a church where two factions are hurling insults at each other, has this to say: "Here’s what is happening: you attack and criticize others and then turn around to commit the same offenses yourselves! Do you think you will somehow dodge God’s judgment? Do you take the kindness (chrestotes) of God for granted? Do you see His patience and tolerance as signs that He is a pushover when it comes to sin? How could you not know that His kindness (chrestotes) is guiding our hearts to turn away from distractions and habitual sin to walk a new path?" (Romans 2:3-4, The Voice). [1] Here we see the presence of both uprightness (walking a new path which leaves destructive ways behind) and kindness (not attacking, judging or harshly criticizing one another). We, like Paul's friends, can become so focused on the rightness of something that we forget all about kindness. Jesus repeatedly rebuked the Pharisees for this type of harshness. In fact, sometimes Jesus seemed to place more emphasis on kindness than on uprightness (healing on the Sabbath, touching the unclean, eating with sinners, etc.) and he got into a lot of trouble with the "good religious folks" for this.
Perhaps one of the most familiar passages about kindness is in Galatians 5 where we find it in a list describing the nature of the fruit of the Spirit. In order to help us hear it with fresh ears, I cite Eugene Peterson's translation: "But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart (chrestotes), and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way" (Galatians 5:22-24, The Message). In this passage, Paul is writing about a life of freedom, one not bound by legalism or defined by law-keeping (rightness). Instead, the goodness of God is evident because things such as love and kindness flow out of us when we are filled with and living in communion with the Spirit of Jesus. Goodness does not happen because we follow or enforce strict rules and boundaries. Jesus critiqued this type of external uprightness with fairly strong words (white-washed tombs which look good on the outside but stink on the inside - Matt. 23:27). True goodness flows from the inside. It brings life and not death, and it is never removed from kindness.
One final passage I want to consider. Paul is instructing a church about what it means to do life in Christ as a community. He writes: "So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness (chrestotes), humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness" (Colossians 3:12-15, The Message). In using the metaphor of a garment or cloak, Paul indicates that these are the things people should see first when they encounter followers of Jesus. All actions, words, working and living and being, should be covered in love. People should not see good works or uprightness first; compassion, kindness, and humility are to be at the forefront. Jesus did not spend his life enforcing a standard of rightness, and it is not the life he calls us to. We are invited to participate in the goodness of God, and kindness is the beautiful garment in which it is clothed.
The kindness of God involves doing good without harshness or harm. It is a form of justice which does not enforce rightness but invokes solidarity. In other words, kindness is a type of goodness which does not seek to separate itself from what is perceived as badness but comes close to those who, for whatever reason, find themselves on the wrong side of the law. Kindness is willing to enter into the suffering, shame, and isolation of others. This kind of goodness happens from the inside-out; it is never something which can be accomplished through external mandate or pressure. Jesus was always making friends with those considered unclean, troublemakers, sinners, partiers, or even traitors. Jesus was not afraid of having his rightness tainted by associating with the outcasts or the unrighteous. Through kindness, he let outsiders know that they were closer to the heart of God than they had been led to believe.
When you have been schooled in being upright, it is hard not to see kindness as a bit of a compromise, a weakness, or even a lack of morality. It pains me to realize that much of my early religious education was, in fact, focused on how to be a good Pharisee, keeping myself separate from those who did not abide by divine laws, and not so much about how to be a friend and companion to those who are suffering, oppressed, and rejected. Thankfully, the master teacher, Jesus, is here to re-educate us all.
Let me finish by relating two stories, both of which have to do with wedding cakes. I am aware that the contexts and relationships represented in these stories are somewhat different, but they merit our consideration.
The first concerns a rather famous court case from 2012 in which Jack Phillips, owner of Masterpiece Cakeshop in Lakewood, Colorado, declined to make a wedding cake for a gay couple, citing his religious beliefs and the fact that same-sex marriage was not recognized in Colorado (the couple was getting married in Massachusetts and returning to Colorado for a celebration with family and friends). However, Colorado did have a public accommodations law which prohibited businesses open to the public from discriminating against their customers on the basis of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. Subsequently, a complaint was filed and the case went to court where it was decided in favour of the plaintiffs. It then went on to the Colorado court of appeals where the decision was upheld. The case finally ended up in the US Supreme court in 2018 where a 7-2 decision reversed the Commission's decision, ruling that the Commission did not employ religious neutrality. This protracted process could not have been easy or pleasant for either party.
The first concerns a rather famous court case from 2012 in which Jack Phillips, owner of Masterpiece Cakeshop in Lakewood, Colorado, declined to make a wedding cake for a gay couple, citing his religious beliefs and the fact that same-sex marriage was not recognized in Colorado (the couple was getting married in Massachusetts and returning to Colorado for a celebration with family and friends). However, Colorado did have a public accommodations law which prohibited businesses open to the public from discriminating against their customers on the basis of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. Subsequently, a complaint was filed and the case went to court where it was decided in favour of the plaintiffs. It then went on to the Colorado court of appeals where the decision was upheld. The case finally ended up in the US Supreme court in 2018 where a 7-2 decision reversed the Commission's decision, ruling that the Commission did not employ religious neutrality. This protracted process could not have been easy or pleasant for either party.
The second story comes from Danielle L. Mayfield who writes about her interactions with Somali Bantu refugees in Portland, Oregon. She befriended two young sisters (13 and 14), and as a good Christian mentor, encouraged them to make future plans for college and overcome the misogyny present around them. One day, the eldest one started to chatter excitedly about a much older boy she had met on the internet. This prompted Danielle to once again raise the question of going to college. When pressed, the girls admitted that they did not know any Somali Bantu girls who had ever gone to college and any desire they had expressed in doing so was simply to humour Danielle.
Danielle writes: "The Somali Bantu girls I knew were getting married at younger and younger ages, entering a patriarchal and polygamous system where they will be expected to have lots of babies and cook three times a day. From the first day I met them, I had made it a goal of mine to see these girls through to college. Now, it looked like I might have to put those dreams away to die. But the biggest emotion I felt was relief: for the first time it felt like we were finally being honest with each other." [2]
Danielle continues: "...part of me wants to petition child protection services or write a journalistic expose of polygamy or do a self-esteem workshop. But the reality is that the best way to humanize an issue is to actually be involved in it. ... to be a friend, the truest form of advocacy there is. To listen to them talk about their boyfriends or how much they love Chris Brown or plan their weddings. This is the new reality, and I have to work with it. Love God, love your neighbor, Jesus said, a perfect sound bite for the ages. But did Christ know how complicated my neighbors were? How hard they were to love sometimes? How much easier it is to surround myself with people who look and think and act like me, to love only myself? Yes, yes, yes, he does, but he is polite and firm in his response. A messy, present, incarnational love is the simplest and hardest call of all, the call that all of us were created to follow. And this is how I find myself offering to bake the d*** wedding cake." [3]
I have spent much of life asking the question, "What is right?" It was the question that the Pharisees were always asking Jesus, and it revealed how obsessed they were with keeping everything within certain boundaries. I am discovering that there is a better question, one which is implied in pretty much every encounter Jesus has: "How can I help?" The first query stresses external compliance and is focused on a thing (law, rightness). The second makes room for companionship and compassionate action by focusing on the person right in front of the questioner.
The idea that certain things (laws/uprightness/stability/security, etc.) are more important than people is deeply embedded in our religious sensibility. Jesus, come and re-educate us all. Amen.
The idea that certain things (laws/uprightness/stability/security, etc.) are more important than people is deeply embedded in our religious sensibility. Jesus, come and re-educate us all. Amen.
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[1] Italics in the text indicate words added by the translators for clarification.
[2] Mayfield, D.L. Assimilate or Go Home: Notes From Failed Missionary on Rediscovering Faith (New York: HarperOne, 2016), 90.
[3] Ibid, 91.
Image from acts.kindness.org
Image from acts.kindness.org
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