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seeing and waiting


This summer, I spent a lot of time walking in the park. As soon as it was warm enough and the paths were clear of snow, I started trekking through the green spaces near my house, eager to see signs of new life. The first few weeks were heady; every new bud, every spurt of green, every tender young leaf caught my eye. I was enthralled by the birds and bugs and breezes and every sign of new life around me. As time went on, this sense of wonder did not continue with the same intensity. Near the end of August, I found myself walking through the park, oftentimes lost in thought, somewhat oblivious to the long stems of grass along the water and the shiny, silver tendrils of the bushes beside the path. I was busy thinking about a writing project or a tricky relationship or a book I was reading, and as a result, I did not see what was right in front of me. But still, on occasion, I noticed. Like the time I got off the bus and started walking home, only to note that the grasses and flowers and greenery at the end of the street were extra special that day, glowing in the late afternoon sun. So I turned around and went for a closer look. But I almost walked right past that moment of glory.

Seeing requires attention and a certain amount of patience. One Sunday after a church gathering in the park, I wandered down to the water and came upon a large group of geese. Having observed three families of geese in my local park all summer, I knew they were in flight school mode at this stage of their development, so I squatted down and waited. After a bit, the parents stopped eyeing the strange intruder ten feel away (me) and the birds all slipped into the water right next to the shore. A few moments later, the honking started and I knew flight was imminent. Sure enough, they all started flapping their wings and the group lifted off and flew low to the water. I watched, mesmerised, until they passed out of sight. I was privileged to be a witness to young birds discovering their ability to soar through the air. All because I waited and watched at the water's edge.

Seeing and waiting. There is a story in Mark 8 which links these two acts, and it is a unique story because it tells of a two-step healing.

"As Jesus and his disciples were going into Bethsaida, some people brought a blind man to him and begged him to touch the man. Jesus took him by the hand and led him out of the village, where he spit into the man’s eyes. He placed his hands on the blind man and asked him if he could see anything. The man looked up and said, 'I see people, but they look like trees walking around.' Once again Jesus placed his hands on the man’s eyes, and this time the man stared. His eyes were healed, and he saw everything clearly. Jesus said to him, 'You may return home now, but don’t go into the village.'" (Mark 8:22-26, CEV)

One of the questions people have when they read this story is: why couldn't Jesus heal the man the first time? To be honest, I don't think this is the best question we could be asking. It assumes that the story is about power (or lack thereof), and it also assumes that God prefers efficiency over process.  From what we know about Jesus, neither of these (impressive demonstrations of power or a preference for efficiency) are high on his priority list. It is we, not Jesus, who desire power and who want it now. This story is not about power or about fast results; it is about seeing. And if we look at the passages immediately before and after this story, they help us understand the larger narrative.

First, let me mention a few interesting details in this story. I won't explain the meaning of them, but simply invite you to see and notice and ponder them: 1) a concerned community brings the blind man to Jesus, he is not on his own, 2) Jesus leads the man out of the village before he heals him, 3) there is a great deal of intimate physical interaction between the blind man and Jesus (taking him by the hand, putting saliva in his eyes, putting his hands on him, putting his hands on his eyes), 4) sight is partial at first, more contact with Jesus is required for complete healing, 5) Jesus instructs the man to go home, not back to the village. 

In this story, we see a progression from blindness to fuzziness (confusion) to clarity. And it mirrors what is happening with the disciples at that point in time. Kelly Iverson observes: "…many scholars argue that the two-stage healing provides implicit commentary on the disciples’ spiritual blindness. Their confusion about the mission and identity of Jesus, as well as their own role within the kingdom, indicates that, like the blind man, their vision is still partial. Though called to be with Jesus (Mark 3:14) and invested with the mysteries of the kingdom (Mark 4:11-12), the disciples are in need of a second touch.” [1] 

If we look at the passages directly before and after this healing story, the connection becomes clear. The disciples are confused and fuzzy about who Jesus is, what he is saying, and what he is doing. Here is the scene leading up to the healing encounter outside Bethsaida: 

"The disciples had forgotten to bring any bread, and they had only one loaf with them in the boat. Jesus warned them, 'Watch out! Guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and of Herod.' The disciples talked this over and said to each other, 'He must be saying this because we don’t have any bread.' Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, 'Why are you talking about not having any bread? Don’t you understand? Are your minds still closed? Are your eyes blind and your ears deaf? Don’t you remember how many baskets of leftovers you picked up when I fed those five thousand people with only five small loaves of bread?' 'Yes,' the disciples answered. 'There were twelve baskets.' Jesus then asked, 'And how many baskets of leftovers did you pick up when I broke seven small loaves of bread for those four thousand people?' 'Seven,' they answered. 'Don’t you know what I am talking about by now?' Jesus asked." (Mark 8:14-21, CEV)

The disciples see Jesus and yet they do not see what he is doing. They are nearsighted, thinking mostly about their own needs and shortcomings, assuming that Jesus is thinking along the same lines. But Jesus invites them to see more, to understand and glimpse the bigger picture, to see what is beneath the surface. Like the blind man, the disciples will only learn to see clearly by continued, close contact with Jesus. 

What follows the healing story is another example of how the disciples see but do not see, especially regarding the way of Jesus and the nature of the kingdom of God.  

"Jesus and his disciples went to the villages near the town of Caesarea Philippi. As they were walking along, he asked them, 'What do people say about me?' The disciples answered, 'Some say you are John the Baptist or maybe Elijah. Others say you are one of the prophets.' Then Jesus asked them, 'But who do you say I am?' 'You are the Messiah!' Peter replied. Jesus warned the disciples not to tell anyone about him. Jesus began telling his disciples what would happen to him. He said, 'The nation’s leaders, the chief priests, and the teachers of the Law of Moses will make the Son of Man suffer terribly. He will be rejected and killed, but three days later he will rise to life.' Then Jesus explained clearly what he meant. Peter took Jesus aside and told him to stop talking like that." (Mark 8:27-32, CEV)

Part of what the disciples (and many other followers) found hard to understand was the reason behind Jesus's insistence on not going public with his miracles or his identity. This is what scholars call the Messianic secret and it is especially noticeable in the gospel of Mark. There are many views on why Jesus did not want the word to get out about him, but here are a few of the ones commonly cited:
1) The kingdom of God does not require publicity; its success is not tied to popularity.
2) Jesus did not want people focused on miracles; the gospel is so much bigger than multiplying bread and healing the sick.
3) Too much public attention made it difficult for Jesus and the disciples to travel, rest, and have time to themselves.
4) Jesus did not want anything to hinder his mission as he started on the road to Jerusalem and all that awaited him there.
5) Jesus was committed to living in the fullness of time. He knew that with fame came a perceived threat to both religious and government authorities, and he did not want to hasten his death.

The disciples saw that Jesus was popular, that he was a miracle-worker, that he was a wise and provocative teacher, that he was specially anointed and chosen by YHWH, but they had a hard time seeing the kingdom of God coming in meekness, in suffering, in sacrifice, through death. They saw but they did not see, and it would take Jesus touching them again and again, and the Spirit of Jesus touching them again and again, for them to begin to see things more clearly. They wanted power and they wanted it now. They had a hard time seeing what Jesus was trying to show them and an equally hard time embracing the patience required to see and know and live in the way of Jesus. 

It seems to me that we in the Church are still struggling with seeing and waiting. We see and yet do not see. We are blind, confused, fuzzy on who God is and how God works. We are impatient, valuing efficiency and results and popularity and influence over prolonged encounters with Jesus. When we do receive partial sight, a glimpse of something moving, we often rush toward it without clear focus, eager to get into the action. We are not very good at waiting in the presence of Jesus. We are scandalized by the Messianic secret and its implications. We are not very good at walking away from publicity, away from the crowds, away from the adulation. We do not have much capacity for slowness, for stillness, for solitude. Not many of us are trained in how to walk toward suffering, how to embrace the way of the cross for the sake of love. 

But Jesus is here, eager to take us by the hand and lead us out of the noise and crush of the village. Jesus wants to touch our eyes and help us to see. And then to touch them again and help us to see better, to see more. Jesus wants to help us see people clearly. Jesus wants to help us see God clearly. Jesus wants to help us see ourselves and our world clearly. So Jesus invites us to stay, to wait, and to stick with the process of being made whole. This is the journey with Jesus. 

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[1] Kelly R. Iverson. "The Healing of a Blind Man (Mark 8:22-26)." https://www.bibleodyssey.org/en/passages/main-articles/healing-of-a-blind-man-mark-822-26

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