In Matthew 6, we find what is commonly known as the Lord's Prayer (a shorter version also appears in Luke 11). For centuries, the church has recited these words both publicly and privately, many viewing them as the ultimate example of prayer. But was Jesus actually offering his disciples a perfect prayer for them to copy? A template for all future prayers? It might be helpful to start with a more basic question: What does it mean to pray?
When we look closely at Jesus' communication with his Father in heaven, we notice that all of it is based in relationship. For Jesus, prayer is never an attempt to control or manipulate the divine will. In other words, prayer is not magic, not a formula or an energy force to be employed to shift circumstances in one's favour. When Jesus prays, he is cultivating union with God. He is abiding in God. One could say that when Jesus prays, he is getting on the same page as his Father. Jesus invites his disciples into this same type of union when he says: "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you" (John 15:7, NRSV). Prayer is a way of participating in God's work, not a way of getting God to sanction our work.
Jesus also teaches us that prayer is part of building a shared story between friends. He says to his followers, "I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father" (John 15:15, NRSV). Prayer is not really an entity in itself, but a reflection of the close communion between divine and human friends. Prayer is not a tool to get something; prayer is a living relationship in action. This is why a saying such as "prayer works" is problematic. Prayer is not the subject, God is. And "works" is not the verb, love is.
Sometimes prayer has been divided into different categories such as adoration, confession, petition, and intercession. This is not a bad thing, but these delineations can make us think "formula" instead of "friendship." Within a friendship, we will, of course, express gratitude, love, appreciation, and affection. We will tell a friend how beautiful they are and how they light up a room when they enter. We will also confess our shortcomings to a friend, admitting that we have not treated them well and asking them to forgive us. We will ask a friend for help when we need it, knowing that they are willing to assist us because they love us and want the best for us. They do not help us out of obligation or because they owe us something (that would be a business arrangement, not a friendship), but because we are committed to each other in a relationship infused with love. We can also ask our friends to help those we care for, to act on behalf of those we love. That is what friends do for friends.
In Luke 18, Jesus tells his disciples a story about prayer. It is a story filled with contrasts. Two men come to the temple to pray; one is a religious leader and the other a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stands and prays a prayer that goes something like this: "God, how I thank You that I am not on the same level as other people - crooks, cheaters, the sexually immoral - like this tax collector over here. Just look at me! I fast not once but twice a week, and I faithfully pay my tithes on every penny of income" (Luke 18:11-12, The Voice). In contrast, the tax collector stands in a corner, his eyes lowered, his fist beating on his chest. He prays: "God, be merciful to me, a sinner" (Luke 18:13). Jesus finishes the story by telling the disciples that it was the tax collector who left the temple clean before God, not the religious leader.
We find a similar theme in Matthew 6. Jesus says, "...when you pray, do not be as hypocrites who love to pray loudly at synagogue or on street corners—their concern is to be seen by men. They have already earned their reward. When you pray, go into a private room, close the door, and pray unseen to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not go on and on, excessively and strangely like the outsiders; they think their verbosity will let them be heard by their deities. Do not be like them. Your prayers need not be labored or lengthy or grandiose—for your Father knows what you need before you ever ask Him. Your prayer, rather, should be simple, like this: Our Father in heaven..." (Matthew 6:5-9, The Voice).
Note some of the contrasts in these two passages: 1) those who want to be heard and seen by others versus those who want to be heard and seen by God, 2) religion which is primarily public versus a religion of the heart, 3) verbosity versus simplicity, 4) trying to get God's attention versus knowing that God is always attentive, 5) getting every detail right versus cultivating relationship. A helpful analogy here might be that of a carpenter versus a gardener. A carpenter must be very exacting, every measurement correct, every piece of wood and every nail in the right place, every angle of wood cut perfectly. A gardener is not concerned with precision but with flourishing, so she tends, she weeds, she waters, she fertilizes, she prunes. The gardener does not make life happen, but cares for and nurtures life already in progress. In many ways, the final results are out of the gardener's hands: flowers bloom when and where they will bloom. In contrast, the carpenter is in control from start to finish. She takes something that was alive (a tree), cuts it down to size, and crafts a static object. If the plans are followed to the letter, the result is a fine piece of furniture which the carpenter can step back and admire. Imagine a bookshelf continuing to grow after it was built. The carpenter would be appalled!
When we pray, communing with the lover of our souls, we are not assembling a piece of furniture, careful to get every component in its proper place. In prayer, we are cultivating a garden, tending to our souls so that they can flourish by learning to abide in the Creator. When we pray, we are not primarily seeking a particular outcome but nurturing a relationship characterized by humility and love. When we pray, we are participating in a process of growth, we are moving toward wholeness, and most importantly, we are delving deeper into friendship with God. That is what Jesus is inviting his disciples into when he asks them to pray with him...
Our Father in heaven,
let Your name remain holy.
Bring about Your kingdom.
Manifest Your will here on earth,
as it is manifest in heaven.
Give us each day that day’s bread—no more, no less—
And forgive us our debts
as we forgive those who owe us something.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. (Matthew 6:9-13, The Voice)
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