Skip to main content

I don't want to win the lottery


There are people that play the lottery.  There are people that talk about finally landing that perfect job.  There are people who long for a dream house.  I am not really one of those people. 

I have been thinking about transformation this past week.  How does transformation happen?  Is it really the result of one major, life-changing event?  Like winning the lottery?  Or getting struck by a bright light on the road to Damascus?  Is it a proactive event where I must work hard to get results?  Or do I merely surrender to a higher power and let him do all the work?

Last night I had a dream, a dream that I seemed to remember having several times before.  In it, there was some impending catastrophe and I knew we had to get out of the situation and do it fast!  There were two ways to make it to safety: one was by climbing a set of very narrow ladders through inclining, tightly enclosed passageways leading ever upwards and the other was by following a group of people through a series of complicated twists and turns in a building and then being propelled through a long tunnel of water. 

When I awoke, it was clear to me that this dream was about transformation.  The only way I could avoid things ending badly was to move from where I was and go through some very uncomfortable situations.  I noted that I had to face my fear of heights, of tight spaces, of getting lost, of having to rely on others, of being underwater and not being able to breathe.  Very uncomfortable.  But transformation usually is.

I don't believe that change or transformation is instant. Yes, there are sometimes great reversals in our lives (like a healing or a sickness or a loss of job or an influx of money or a change of location/status), but that doesn't change who we are, really.  It usually only reveals what is at our core: what we really believe in or what we are afraid of.  When a reversal happens in our lives, we are faced with a decision:  will we change as well, or will we continue as usual?  I can be healed from a terrible disease but never change my mentality about being a victim.  I can be diagnosed with some horrible cancer yet continually display a grateful and generous countenance.  I can win the lottery but squander away every penny because I never learned how to be a wise investor.  The many small decisions I have been making every day after day and year after year are the ones that determine who I am and where I am going, not some big, life-changing event.

But what about God's intervention?  I have been reading through the book of Job.  It is a great example of what gets revealed when a reversal happens.  Fortunes came and went, but Job would not let go of God: he questioned and demanded justice and got angry, but he would not walk away from his maker.  The conversion of Saul is another interesting example.  Yes, there was a dramatic encounter during which all his beliefs and assumptions were challenged.  But then Saul had to decide whether to embrace this Jesus or not.  And then he had to walk out what that decision meant.  Reversals are opportunities for transformation, but they are no guarantee of them.

There are also two facets of transformation that I see:  there is the quick leap and the long, arduous path of daily, diligent decisions.  One can never really be transformed through leaps or shortcuts alone; the change won't stick.  Most often, the long and arduous path leads to a leap (which can look like instant change but there was a lengthy process involved) or there might be a long and arduous path to walk after a jump start.  I have experienced both in my life.  And will no doubt continue to do so.

Today, I get the sense that I am again being invited into renewed and deliberate transformation by God.  The decisions I make today matter.  The attitude I have today matters.  My responses to situations today matter.  They are all part of my daily transformation.  And who knows when a quick leap of grace might unexpectedly appear along my long and arduous journey. 

the photo:  a lovely glass mosaic at a local store - many small parts make up the whole.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Names of God

The Hebrew word "YHWH" (read from right to left) This past Sunday I gave a talk on the Names of God, the beginning of a series on this topic. This first talk was to be a gentle introduction so I thought it wouldn't take too many hours of preparation. Well, I quickly discovered that the research is almost bottomless; every time I thought I had a somewhat definitive list of names, I found another source which added a few more or gave a different twist on some of the names I had already come across. After several hours I was getting overwhelmed by the sheer amount of data (and that was only looking at the Hebrew Bible). I wondered how I could present this to people in an orderly and accessible fashion and within a reasonable time frame. Not everyone is up for a 3-hour lecture crammed full of detail on a Sunday morning. So I took a break and spent a bit of time meditating on this problem and asking the Spirit for guidance. And then I thought that being overwhelmed by Go

comedic timing

Comic by Joel Micah Harris at xkcd.com One of my favourite jokes goes like this: Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow w--- Moooooooo!! Timing is important in both drama and comedy. A well-paced story draws the audience in and helps it invest in the characters, while a tale too hastily told or too long drawn out will fail to engage anyone. Surprise - something which interrupts the expected - is a creative use of timing and integral to any good story. If someone is reading a novel and everything unfolds in a predictable manner, they will probably wonder why they bothered reading the book. And so it is in life. Having life be predictable all of the time is not as calming as it sounds. We love surprises, especially good surprises like birthday parties, gifts, marriage proposals, and finding something that we thought was lost. Surprises are an important part of humour. A good joke is funny because it goes to a place you didn't expect it to go. Sim

soul refrigerator

I went grocery shopping yesterday and came home with three bags of food. After I unpacked them all, this is what my fridge looked like: really empty. How does that happen? How can I feel so full and ready for any food emergency one moment, and after one quick glance, realise that I have nothing, really? Today is one of those days in my soul as well. I woke up with gratitude and fullness in my heart, ready to take on this day and all the wonderful opportunities that it presented. Then I caught a brief glance of some emptiness in my life and bam - my buoyancy was compromised. For the past few hours I have been treading water, trying to keep my head in a positive space, bobbing in and out of disappointment, and catching myself whining with pathetic indignity at the cement blocks of other people's stupidity that are tangled around my ankles. When I am staring at the empty refrigerator of my soul, these are my thoughts. Where do I go from here? Perhaps I should slam that refrigerator