Monday, December 21, 2009

the list

What do you want for Christmas? As an adult, I don't get asked this question much, and when I do (mostly by Dean), I am a bit uncomfortable answering it. I don't like being greedy or needy. I do like being content. But I also know that I do not stretch my hope and desire muscles enough, and that is not contentment - that is complacency.

God asks me almost every day what I would like (after I have talked to him about all the important people in my life and asked him to provide for them with extravagance, he usually asks...and what about you?). I am getting better at giving him a response. I am getting better at expressing my real desires (not for stuff, but those things that add genuine richness to my life) and daring to live in that scary place between deep longing and sweet fulfillment. It is where I live every day, if I am honest: some days more on the longing side and other days, leaning more towards the fulfillment end of things.

Here, then, are the things that I would like in my life, at Christmas time and any other day as well:
1. Friends. So many people come and go in my life, affected by time, distance, work, studies, life changes, different interests, etc. Right now I seem to be in flux, between solid, mutual friendships. Dean is the best, most generous longterm companion I have. Yeah! But there are others that I want to walk through life with in a fun and meaningful way. Jesus, show me how to be a friend and have good friends.

2. Grace. I get annoyed when things don't go the way I want them to. I disappoint myself and others. Others disappoint me. I would like grace that looks beyond small and big annoyances and sees the wonder of life in motion. I want to bring a softness to harsh edges and inspiring patience and growth to every situation. I want to stop judging and start measuring out scoop after scoop of yummy grace that opens mouths instead of closes hearts.

3. Gratitude. This is the secret weapon of my life, but sometimes I find it dull and rusty. Practice, lots of practice is what keeps this weapon sharp. I called Dean on the phone today and after I hung up, I thought WOW, I can talk to him just by pressing a few buttons. What a privilege to have a phone! People for the greater part of history did not have this technology and could not do this! I love my phones!

4. A new pair of jeans. My old, comfy ones are getting pretty worn.

5. More storage space or the ability to live a more organised and streamlined life.

6. The capacity to love Dean well and put a smile on his face every day.

7. The desire to learn something new every day and never get side-tracked by the learning curve side-effects (ugh, I feel inadequate, slow, and stupid).

8. Enthusiasm for whatever phase of life I find myself in.

9. A generous spirit that does not fatigue because it relies on God's goodness and not my own resources.

And that's basically it. Here is a photo of a gift from a friend...3 candles inside of a gift bag. (Probably a fire hazard, don't try this at home.)

1 comment:

Shelley said...

that's a great list Matte!