outWORD by Matte Downey

I am a disciple of Jesus and recently, I find myself identifying with that early disciple who brings a sword to a prayer meeting. Right after celebrating the Passover meal with his closest followers, Jesus goes to a secluded place to pray, and his disciples follow him. In the account in Matthew 26, it tells us that the followers of Jesus have a hard time finding enthusiasm for the task at hand - prayer - but when an armed crowd shows up to arrest Jesus, everyone is suddenly wide awake. Jesus addresses the armed men calmly, not resisting arrest, but one of the disciples perceives a great threat. He pulls out a sword and goes on the attack, chopping off the ear of the high priest's slave. Surprisingly, Jesus has no harsh words for the disciple turned betrayer, Judas. Instead, he rebukes the devoted, loyal defender: the disciple with the sword. Why? Because Jesus doesn't need defending or protecting. He doesn't need an army. Jesus wants his followers to be true followers, to...

The chair I broke Yesterday I was sitting on a chair and it broke. This has never happened to me before. Without warning, there was a loud crack as the wood splintered and my body dropped an inch or two on the left. No warning. I leapt to my feet to avoid any further damage, either to the chair or to myself. It was in the middle of our Sunday church meeting and Dean was speaking. When he heard the sound and saw me suddenly stand up, he stopped short. In fact, everyone turned and looked in my direction. I said, somewhat stunned, "The chair broke." I could feel a slight tingling on my upper thigh where the jagged wood had scraped my skin, but that was the extent of my damage. The chair, however, would need to have a joint repaired. I assured everyone that I was fine and sat down on another chair. Dean continued his talk on how we read the Bible. After the meeting, I went back to the chair to investigate, because chairs never break when I sit on them. I checked the overall...

Image from crooksandliars.com Judgment. The word sends a shiver through most people's souls, even those who proclaim to have salvation through Jesus Christ. I suppose this is because most of us immediately place ourselves in the position of the accused. To many of us, God as a Judge is not a reassuring thought. And that is strange, if you stop to think about it, because in the scriptures, the Righteous Judge is often portrayed as a very comforting figure. C.S. Lewis suggests that in the Bible we find basically two views of judgment: what he calls the Jewish view and the Christian view.[1] The Jewish view is that of a civil case where I see myself in the position of plaintiff, a person unjustly wronged (stolen from, taken advantage of, etc.). The cry is for justice. In contrast, the Christian view of judgment is that of a criminal case in which I am the accused, on trial for the wrongs I have done against God. In this case, the plea is for mercy. When we are the plaintiff, we ...

Ocean Beach, California.  I love being close to the beach. Quite a few characters there that I found hard to love, though. I was preparing a lecture on Catherine of Genoa this afternoon and came across the following disturbing sentences:  "She was greatly zealous in ... bringing help to the sick and the poor to the best of her ability.  She would clean the most nauseating filth, and if she felt her stomach heaving, she would put some of it in her mouth to overcome her squeamishness."  I felt a bit sick just reading that, to be honest.  I don't understand how putting something disgusting in your mouth can help you overcome nausea.  To me, it makes more sense to drop the offensive article and get as far away as possible!  But the principle behind Catherine's action is simple:  if you find it hard to love, get closer.  The same kind of attitude could be seen in Mother Teresa.  She cared for the sick...

Things have been a bit hectic this last month as I dove head-first into doctoral studies.  The first few weeks were filled with so many meetings and events and orientations and administrative 'stuff'  that had to be completed that it left me feeling a bit tossed about and slightly nauseous.  In the midst of all that hurricane activity on the sea of learning, I was given 4 days to complete a huuuuuuge funding application.  I managed it, but I am not sure how brilliant and put-together it was.  Now I am in the middle of two more very large applications and have a flurry of parties to attend on the weekend.  This whirlwind of activity has brought me to face to face with the issue of schedules.  With Dean's help (and the Holy Spirit), I have now put one in place that should better manage all the classes, teaching responsibilities, reading, writing, and surprise tasks that are part of my workload, as well as leave space for liv...

I threw out something today that was past the expiration date. The year 2007 was printed on the back of the bottle, and I figured it was time. Probably way past time. I don't know why I hold onto things that are no longer useful. It seems wasteful, I guess. But whether or not it is wasteful is not always the best deciding factor. I said something yesterday that I regret. It was posed as a question, and on some level I guess I was asking for information, asking to understand, but the question was pretty loaded. It was skewed to carry the following message: "What's your problem? Why don't you get it together? I've figured this out, why can't you?" I didn't even realise how arrogant my attitude was until it was pointed out to me (those are real friends for you). It turns out that there are other ways to see a situation, to accomplish a task, than my way. There are people with completely different sets of skills from what I have, and I can be somewhat blin...

I judge people. I was sitting on my bed on Sunday afternoon, having just read some of the book of Daniel, and I started to confess this. God, I go around judging people. Yep, that's what I do. That's what I did this weekend. I judge people. I don't like it, it doesn't help anyone, but there you have it. I am a wanna-be judge . And God asked me, D o you know why you do this ? hmmm , well, okay, why do I do that which I am not proud of? There are certain things that are very important to me. They are emphases in my life that I believe God has put there. One of them is faithfulness. Another is truth. I love these things and have worked hard to grow and mature in them in my life. I am constantly aware of how important these things are, how vital they are to God's character and therefore, to mine. But, alas, because I have invested so much in pursing these precious traits, when I encounter someone who treats them lightly, who does not hold them with the same regard as I ...