I am a disciple of Jesus and recently, I find myself identifying with that early disciple who brings a sword to a prayer meeting. Right after celebrating the Passover meal with his closest followers, Jesus goes to a secluded place to pray, and his disciples follow him. In the account in Matthew 26, it tells us that the followers of Jesus have a hard time finding enthusiasm for the task at hand - prayer - but when an armed crowd shows up to arrest Jesus, everyone is suddenly wide awake. Jesus addresses the armed men calmly, not resisting arrest, but one of the disciples perceives a great threat. He pulls out a sword and goes on the attack, chopping off the ear of the high priest's slave. Surprisingly, Jesus has no harsh words for the disciple turned betrayer, Judas. Instead, he rebukes the devoted, loyal defender: the disciple with the sword. Why? Because Jesus doesn't need defending or protecting. He doesn't need an army. Jesus wants his followers to be true followers, to pray and act and respond like Jesus has taught them to pray and act and respond. And he taught them that enemies are not to be attacked; they are to be loved.
In that disciple, I see so much of myself. Tepid in prayer. Quick to get defensive. Ready to do battle when no battle is necessary. Impatient, impulsive, and ultimately, out of step with the way of Jesus. When this misguided disciple raises up his sword and cuts off another man's ear, perhaps he only means to scare him, or perhaps he means to do much worse and his aim is bad. I don't know, but I do know what Jesus had to say about the importance of ears.
This disciple had no doubt heard his teacher say countless times, "Let anyone with ears, listen." This was a way of inviting people to listen closely, to be attentive and open. It was also a warning for those (like the religious leaders) who were convinced they already knew what was right and had little to learn. When the disciple chopped off another's ear in a defensive move, not only was he not listening to Jesus, he was also diminishing another person's ability to listen to Jesus. The disciple inflicted his own deafness on another. In that moment, the disciple whom Jesus had called to spread the good news of salvation was the antithesis of an apostle (one sent by Jesus). He committed an act which went counter to Jesus's invitation to hear the gospel. All in the name of loyalty and protecting the Son of Man. Many of us have perhaps secretly admired the disciple for his courage to stand up and fight against the evil plot to get rid of Jesus. If so, we also need ears to hear.
Though I do not carry an actual sword, I sometimes make it harder for people, especially those whom I would consider on the wrong side of things, to hear and experience Jesus. To be honest, I don't always want them to meet Jesus, because fighting for a cause makes me feel good, righteous, and needed. I may not cut off someone's ear, but I may cut them off mid-sentence. I dismiss certain people as being ignorant and uninformed and, as a result, withhold kindness and courtesy from them. I may cut them out of my circle of learning and engagement. I sometimes pre-judge people and make unfair generalizations about them. On a bad day, I will even mock those who do not know what I know, pushing them away from me and my own personal Jesus. Where Jesus invites everyone to come close, to hear and see who he is, I am sometimes the one who tries to chop off their access point.
Thank God, Jesus heals ears, both those which are dull and hard of hearing and those which have been chopped off in the heat of battle. Let me lay down my sword, secure in the knowledge that the incarnate logos is alive and well, able to pierce through any confusion and reveal himself in the most unlikely places. Let me be a faithful follower of Jesus, meek and humble, a servant of all. And, instead of practicing my sword skills, let me learn to pray.
Image: Peter cuts the slave's ear by Duccio di Buoninsegna
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