outWORD by Matte Downey

Image from ruleoflife.com My life has been pretty quiet the past few months. Don't get me wrong, it is busy. It has been one of those terms when I am teaching, traveling, going to conferences, trying to move forward on my thesis, grading assignments, and meeting with professors and students and people in my spiritual community. But in the midst of the busyness it has felt pretty quiet. Quiet in my spirit. No fireworks. No great excitement, No awesome revelations. No getting caught up in a whirlwind and taken to heaven. No pillar of fire by night. No guiding cloud by day. No burning bush. Just the humdrum of reading and writing, lecturing, going to the gym, praying, reading the Bible, gathering with followers of Jesus, and doing the dishes. Pretty quiet inside. At times I ask my spirit - hey, are you alive and well? I hope so, I respond. I wonder to myself - is God with me? I guess so, I say, but I can't always tell. And maybe, on a particularly quiet and busy day, I allow...

Walking on the beach at Lunan Bay Scotland. A 'Yes' moment! Around 8 months ago I jotted down the beginnings of a poem. Today I came across the rough draft and thought perhaps it was time to finish it. If I remember correctly, I hastily typed those first words in a rush of joy and exuberance, absolutely besotted with being alive and surrounded by so much goodness. This evening, in a more contemplative state of mind, I edited it and added a final stanza. It is a poem about hope, celebration, gifts, limitations, and sobering gratitude. It is a poem about saying yes to life, all of it. The Poem of Yes by Matte Downey  Do you ever just want to write a poem?  Because you want to say something delicious Create something frothy and delightful Mold something with edgy consonants and soothing vowels Paint a picture with adjectives which have the potential to startle the mind and make someone go “Oh!” Do you ever just want to dance and jump?  Because t...

Winter tree in Saint-Laurent.  Jan 28 2013 I am facilitating a spiritual formation course on Tuesday evenings based on the book, The Good and Beautiful God .  Basically, the book deals with aligning our perceptions of God with the God that Jesus presents in the New Testament.  It is a well-structured study with accessible language, group learning, and a spiritual discipline exercise (the author calls it soul-training) at the end of every chapter.  This week we were to spend 5 minutes in silence every day and take some time to observe creation. Sounds simple, and I basically do these two things most every day anyway.  But, as always seems to happen, the very week I am to practice these disciplines and write something about them, my schedule is turned on its ear.  I was working as a conference assistant for 3 days which meant early mornings and long days inside a classroom downtown.  In addition, I had a house guest for 4 d...

In the book I am currently reading, The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris, she writes a chapter about the Psalms and how in contemporary spirituality, we tend to avoid some of them, especially the "cursing psalms" as she calls them. Seldom do you hear these read in public or expounded upon. The brutal, angry language is unsettling and uncomfortable. And yet, she insists, these psalms smack of reality - a reality that religion tries to ignore too often. Following Jesus is not about positive thinking, which in many cases can be a form of denial. It is cowardly to pick and choose the pretty, uplifting parts of the Bible and leave out the bits about injustice, revenge, darkness, and pain. Even if I am not currently in a situation which echoes these themes, someone I know certainly is. How can I purport to love God and not identify with my neighbour? Many years ago, on a quest to become a better writer, I began my own book of psalms. Though I never made it to my goal of writing 15...

This morning, I was one of 7 students to give a mini-lesson in my University Teaching Course. All of the graduate students in this class (there are 22 of us) are from varied fields of study, so it proved to be a very interesting time. We learned about art theft (who steals art? what kinds of things do they steal? why?), textual analysis of poetry (what tools do you use to interpret a poem?), the political system in Canada (who has the power to appoint the prime minister?), fair play in sports (is Fastskin swimwear giving certain swimmers an unfair edge?), fine art (what constitutes a portrait?), and verb forms in the Hindi language. The jewel of the morning was a poem we received in a hand-out from a student teaching Introduction to Literary Studies. I believe its message applies to any subject that we are trying to study, but is especially relevant to reading such a text as the Bible. Here it is: Introduction to Poetry by Billy Collins (1988) I ask them to take a poem and hold it up t...

You will not have this - its mine! Words that a 5 year-old says when someone reaches for his toy. Words that a woman shouts when confronted by a thief demanding her purse. Words that a landowner utters when threatened by an invading king. You cannot take this away from me! Words that the slaves sung to remind themselves that freedom can always be carried in your heart. Words that martyrs cried out as they offered their lives for their beliefs. Words that lovers whispered when they were parted by war. Why are you taking this away from me? Words that Job flung at a God who seemed to be deaf to his pain. Words that don't know how this can end well. Words that the chronically downtrodden have forgotten how to form. Why did I give that up? Words of regret spoken in hindsight. Words that cannot bring it back. Words that reveal powerlessness and perhaps a lack of courage. Can you help me get it back? Words that carry hope. Words that have put aside self-reliance. Words that refuse to acce...

This is the spoken word piece I presented earlier tonight. It is based loosely on Genesis 32. Someone...is waiting for me. I can sense it when I walk home at night. Out there, just out of sight, waiting, watching, debating when to make a move. I can feel it when the hairs on my arm rise up slowly and there is a tingle on the back of my neck, only it doesn’t stay there. That tingle, shivery tingle finds the bottom of my spine and that’s how I divine that Someone...is waiting for me. I imagine and hypothesize and theorize that the encounter will happen in some dark alley. The marked and the marker meet and greet and all manner of devastation is heaped on me yes, that is what I fear. Deep in my belly, that’s where I hear the fear talking so when I am walking I am praying, hoping, that nothing happens. It’s okay, I’d say, to be praying...for nothing. But still, I know something or someone will, eventually, catch up to me. It might happen in broad daylight, who knows? Perhaps I am in a park...

Here is a piece of slam poetry that was part of my presentation at a theology conference today. It is based on Psalm 127:1-2. I woke up one day and said, I am going to build a house I got a hammer and some nails and a big book from Amazon that promised "do it yourself without fail" I envisioned something extraordin-ary marble and glass, cedar and cherry impressive and functional smaller than Babel yet bigger than a stable And I took my first nail and I raised my hammer and I swung with all my might and this is how I broke my right....thumb I woke up the next day and said, I am going to build a career I drew up a plan go to the best university in the land study smart, network hard, get straight A's hire myself out to the highest bidder and one day hopefully not too far away build my own business empire smaller than Rome, of course, but bigger than Bethlehem And I took my first exam, after a night of cramming which is after all, obligator-y and this is how I made my first C...