outWORD by Matte Downey

Image from pinterest.com There are quite a few fishing stories in the gospels. Because many of the disciples were fishermen, this is only natural. These stories are not just cultural snapshots of the lives of people in the first century; these narratives tell us something about the disciples or Jesus or both. Two stories in particular seem connected not only because of their amazing and miraculous catch, but because they show us something about the faith journey of one of the disciples, Peter. Here are the two stories: Story 1: When [Jesus] had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.” When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they...

Part of the crowd at Vineyard Columbus Last week I attended the Vineyard Church USA national conference in Columbus, Ohio. Around 60 nations were represented and over 4000 people were present. I won't try to give you a rundown of the week or the speakers or their talks. Check out the video  archives  of the main sessions if you want to get a glimpse (only available for a limited time, I am told). The highlights for many of us were Thursday morning's talk by Dr. Charles A. Montgomery on breaking down barriers (it starts at 1:35) and the worship led by David Ruis and Noel Isaacs from Nepal on Thursday evening (a particularly poignant lament song starts at 1:03). The stuff that happened on the platform, in many ways, was just a small part of the experience. God doesn't need a microphone to speak nor does he require a crowd in order to be present. Our loving God is with us in so many ways if we have ears to hear and eyes to see. I came to the conference believing that I...

Image from wpcg.ca It somehow seems apropos that I am doing research on the idea of gift during the Christmas season. When I first began to write this chapter of my dissertation, I was pretty sure where I would go with it. I was headed for the idea of the perfect, pure gift. A gift given without self-interest, without obligation. A gift which did not shy away from sacrifice and sought to bring the other person delight. Yes, that was the kind of selfless gift I was going to write about, the kind of gift motivated solely by concern for the other with no thought for oneself. Earlier this year I read The Gift (1925) by sociologist, Marcel Mauss, his influential work dealing with gift-giving practices in primitive societies. Mauss concluded that gift-giving practices in archaic tribes located in Polynesia, New Zealand, and the Pacific Northwest were actually part of a whole system which involved economic transactions, wealth dispersion, political power, familial ties, and honour cod...

Image from americanvision.org I have the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, on my bookshelf. I have never read it. One of the reasons is because being highly effective is not one of my priorities. And that is because I don't think I can really control the effect I have in this world and on other people. Though I might do everything in my power to change a situation, in the end people choose whether or not they embrace change. Don't get me wrong, it appears that Covey has some very good advice which can help people develop good personal work habits and help them work better within a team setting, but like any self-help or self-improvement book, it probably focuses on what we must do to change ourselves and our environment. There is usually little room made for failure, for things we cannot change, for getting stuck. There tends to be little talk of receiving kindness and acknowledging that we are at the mercy of grace. Instead of another self-help book, I would ...

I have been doing some reading on improvisation these past few weeks.  This is in preparation for a presentation I will be giving in Scotland in mid-August on the links between audience participation, improv, and theology.  Pretty fun stuff.  I came across some thought-provoking words in a few articles that seemed to speak directly to spiritual formation and what it looks like to follow Jesus.  But they were all about improv!  Let me share a few of these morsels with you...so you don't have to come all the way to Scotland to hear them. From a book on improvisation techniques: "In improvisation a mistake is simply a gift you weren’t expecting.   If a set piece falls, or a line is forgotten, or an entrance is missed, it’s as if so many gems have fallen in your lap.   Instead of bemoaning the fact that you’re ensconced deeply in the Actor’s Nightmare, you should rejoice that this may be the only moment in your entire career to in...

It is the night before Christmas. I have the jitters. Mid-torso butterflies, spurts of adrenaline that make my heart beat faster. I hold my breath without meaning to.  1......2.....3......4 (exhale) I am 10. I have hand-picked a small brown doll with eyes that shut when she sleeps and wrapped it carefully in newspaper for my sister. My fingertips are still inky from the exercise - hiding the gift in smudged paper in order to more splendidly reveal my timid, thoughtful attempt at generosity. Will she love it as much as I want her to? Will I have brought her joy not only for a few moments but for days and weeks to come? I wait for her to pull open the grimy paper and get a peek inside.  1......2......3......4 (exhale) Anticipation. The knowledge that something is about to happen. Something exciting and definitely good but unpredictable and maybe a teensy bit messy because somehow it will change my world in ways I can't quite imagine. To become be...

On Monday after a few hours of research, I walked to the grocery store to buy some snacks for the week. As I am prone to do, I began by thinking I would get only a few items. I started to pile drinks and bagels and yogurt in my arms and then had to set everything down and go looking for a basket. After wandering down a few more aisles of goodies, the basket was starting to get pretty full, too, and a clerk asked me if I wanted a cart. What? No! I did a re-think and put some items back, reminding myself that I had to carry everything back to my room which was a 15-minute walk away, and I was only going to be here for 5 days. I had one more thing on my list: fruit. Finding something good was a challenge. The apples and pears didn't look very appetizing, the grapes - meh; there was not much else for selection, and all of it was expensive. Finally, I found blueberries for 99 cents! Yay! I picked up 3 boxes, added them to my pile of popcorn and yogurt, and headed for the checkout. Every...

On Monday morning, I was standing at the street corner waiting to get on the bus and head off to a class at the university. When the bus arrived, the doors opened, and I saw a woman in a purple coat standing beside the bus driver. The two of them were engaged in a conversation. I didn't think much of it - people often ask the driver for directions or information. I placed my bus pass on the pad at the front, heard the satisfying "ding" of acceptance, and squeezed past her. The purple lady followed me to my seat and asked if I had change for 5 dollars. I replied in the negative, because I knew pretty much what was in my wallet, but she looked so desperate that I decided to took a look just to check. When I opened up my change pocket, I could immediately see that I did not have 5 dollars in change, but I did have $2.75, which was the exact cost of a bus fare. I pulled out the coins and handed them to the lady. She offered me the 5 dollar bill, but I refused, saying that I w...

I am good at jumping to conclusions. I can land on possible scenarios, hop to perceived motivations, and bounce to likely outcomes in an easy hop, skip, and jump. Though a quick and flexible mind is helpful in some ways, this particular skill is not all that useful. It keeps me off the solid ground of reality. It usually blurs the truth, and most unfortunately, I believe that it substitutes certainty, or the illusion of having hit upon something resembling certainty, for faith. One of the things that I admire about higher education, or at least my exposure to it in my particular setting, is the opportunity it gives me to say, over and over again, "I don't know." There is a humility that this cultivates, a dependence on knowledge outside oneself, and a desire to learn and pursue a mystery, that is at the heart of nurturing a love of wisdom. Yesterday, I tried to help some of my friends by asking pointed questions and offering what I thought might be appropriate insights. T...

So...I have a cold. It is not pleasant. I means that I dream about not being able to breathe. It means that there is a damp spot under my nose when I wake up. It means that my chest is tight and I get winded climbing the stairs to my bedroom. It means that my throat is scratchy and I am always thirsty. It means that everything seems like a bigger deal than it really is. This morning, the doorbell buzzed while I was still in bed, sleeping the open-mouthed, sweaty sleep of the sick. I woke up, a bit groggy, but aware enough to know who it was. The mailman was delivering books which I had ordered. Yeah ! I was waiting for this shipment and was happy to receive it before the Friday deadline. The mailman usually just leaves the package in the hallway of our condo building when I am away, so because I was feeling kind of rough and certainly looking like someone's nightmare (plus, I didn't want to infect the poor man with whatever I had, I reasoned), I decided not to answer the door....

Someone must have rearranged our bedroom furniture during the night. I got up this morning , it seems, on the proverbial wrong side of the bed. After a month of blessed and undeserved contentment and gratitude in my heart, I felt the old brain start to go in negative patterns again this morning. The sad thing is not that this happened (and will occasionally happen), but that I allowed myself to go down that road, to stay on that track, and ended up saying things to people that I now regret. Yes, apologies have been given, and I have to trust that forgiveness and redemption are bigger than my blunders. It started when I got irritated and annoyed because one little thing did not happen the way I wanted it to this morning. My prayer as I walked to the bank this afternoon was "God, I am a control freak. Please help me to be a lover instead." It is so hard to remain out of control of my life. I can do okay for a period of time and then WHAM I just get tired of not having a say in...

The topic of receiving has been coming up a lot in my life this past month. It started when I read the story of Mary again and was struck by how she willingly received everything that God was offering to her. Then I pulled a muscle on the day we were hosting a Canada Day party and had to receive a lot of help from my guests. As well, for a week, my modem had issues and my email program would only receive emails and I could not send anything. Okay, okay, I get it. I have become much more aware of how badly I still receive. As a result, I have modified my behaviour and attitude in quite a few ways, indeed I have. I don't often pray, "God, I need this one thing," but I say, "God, what are you offering me today?" I consciously try to accept and embrace prayers, gifts, help, and true words from others and from God. I say, "I receive," a lot to remind myself not to be so self-reliant. So on Sunday morning when I was asking God what to speak on that night, I ...

So, my modem died on Sunday. It just gave up all its lights and is now sitting lifeless and unproductive on the table, hoping I will consider giving it a second life as a paper weight or modern sculpture. Don't think so! I was supposed to receive a replacement in 2 business days, whatever that means, since it is now 5 days later and I am still doing without. Really, I don't mind being without access to the world wide web for a few days while I wait for my new modem, but much of my communication , writing, and studying is done online, and so I have already missed a webinar and fallen woefully behind in my writing schedule. On the work side of things, I have to disseminate certain information to our church community every week and on Tuesday, it took three attempts in three different Internet access locations before I finally managed to send this important communique. Rather inconvenient , to say the least. We are in Ontario for the weekend visiting friends and now have acces...

On Wednesday, I took my car in to the garage to get the air conditioning fixed. They ran a diagnostic on it, emptied out the freon, refilled it, and sent me on my way after almost 3 hours of waiting, telling me it should be better. On the way home, the air conditioning failed again. I called and complained, not too happy about just spending $180 for nothing! Enrico, my service guy, ever so patiently squeezed the schedule to give me another appointment later in the week. After I hung up, I felt badly about my attitude. I had been whiny and impatient and a touch demanding on the phone. Whiny is never attractive, and demanding is not the most effective way to deal with people. But I also don't like feeling like I have been ripped off. So I asked God what was going on and I felt like he answered, "I'm giving you another chance to see Enrico." Somehow, the $180 or the non-functioning air conditioning didn't seem to be on the top of his list of things to be concerned ...