outWORD by Matte Downey

Jacob's Dream by Jusepe de Ribera This is the second in a series: Stories from Exile. You can read part one  here . The biblical texts are full of stories featuring people who leave home for one reason or another and find themselves in an in-between place. The entire saga of Abraham and Sarah is underscored by a sense of un-belonging. The history of Israel is filled with tales situated in liminal spaces. People are running from danger, travelling to find a wife, searching for livestock, going to war, passing through a foreign land, or wandering in the wilderness.  One of these in-between stories is found in Genesis 28. Barbara Brown Taylor summarizes the familiar tale: There he was, still a young man, running away from home because the whole screwy family had finally imploded. His father was dying. He and his twin brother, Esau, had both wanted their father’s blessing. Jacob’s mother had colluded with him to get it, and though his scheme worked, it enraged his brother to the p...

image from airinisbomb.deviantart.com A week ago I had one of those dreams. You know, the kind that sticks with you for hours after you wake up and, like a C. S. Lewis masterpiece, pierces you with its truth and vivid images. This is what I dreamed:  I was in a dressing room in a fashionable and rather expensive clothing store. I tried on several beautiful dresses; some I liked more than others. I wasn't really thinking about buying a dress that day but I thought there was no harm in trying on a few. The salesperson did her job well, bringing me numerous outfits, all quite interesting and lovely, so I just kept tryin g them on. The last item she brought me was a pair of shorts which were priced over $400. At that point I made a decision: I was not going to pay that much for a pair of shorts so there was no point in trying them on, no matter how nice they were. After I made that decision, I suddenly noticed several things around me that I had not been aware of before. ...

I had a dream this morning that was rather vivid. In the dream, I had written a book entitled On Being a Nation which was meant to inspire people by reminding them what it means to be a nation. In the book I outlined the responsibilities and privileges that come with nationality and surprisingly enough, it turned out to be quite popular. Dreams are strange things. I used to dream a lot and was convinced that many of them were revelatory in some way. Perhaps they were. At least a few of them translated into actual experiences, and others provided wisdom and encouragement for people that I dreamt about. At the very least, they motivated me to pray about the situations and people I encountered while I slept. I kept journals for many years of my dreams, even wrote a novel based on a set of dreams about a specific person (you can read chapter one here ), but for the most part, dreams remain a mystery to me. Nevertheless, they do sometimes set my mind in a direction that I never would have ...

This afternoon I signed my name a few times, and so did Dean, and we are no longer home owners. This morning one of my close friends, who had been staying with us for a week as she was between places, left to journey back to her family in B.C. She is leaving her life in Montreal, not sure whether she will return or not. It has been a day of goodbyes, goodbyes that leave one hanging, as none of us know quite where we will land next. This place can be unsettling or it can help me focus - my choice. Tonight I have 3 more house guests coming. Tomorrow I have an event where I am acting as producer/set-up person/refreshment coordinator/public relations/host. Saturday we look at some condos downtown, then head away for a quick meeting and a bit of a getaway at our friends' cottage up north. Next week I will start sorting and packing. Life is clumping up again, as it tends to do when change is imminent. Like labour pains, there usually seems to be increased activity and stress just before...

I had a dream yesterday. In it, I was in a public gathering of some sort with lots of people and quite a few of them famous. It was a conference type of setting so we were all supposed to be listening and being wowed by what was coming forth from the stage area. For some reason, I was reading my Bible (don't remember which bits) and the words and concepts gripped me hard. I was deeply stirred by the immensity of the love of God for us and it nearly ripped me open. I couldn't help it, I began to sing. It was not a pretty song. I wailed and moaned and tried to hit some notes as I wept and cried out and made a fairly sad attempt to put a voice to this intense sensation of being loved so largely that it almost swallowed me up. How does one receive such a pure and holy thrust of white-hot passion? I maneuvered my vocal chords through a raw and underdeveloped melody, my voice cracking and changing register as I did so. I was sure I was not making much sense to anyone but myself, and...

We are currently in Ontario spending the Easter weekend with friends. I was introduced to Guitar Hero ( woohoo I ROCK!) and renewed my skills at Dance Dance Revolution (now able to get by on the hard setting to some degree). We attended a Good Friday service this morning and then I had a nap because the late night driving was catching up with me. I had an interesting dream just before I woke up. I was walking down the sidewalk of a long street. Then I encountered high snow which made the sidewalk impassable. I figured I would step into the street. An ambulance was parked in the street as some sort of commotion was going on. There were several high plastic recycle-type bins blocking my access to the street. I clambered over the yellow bins and jumped onto the street. The ambulance attendants called over to me that I should not have done that. Those yellow bins were filled with toxic waste. Oops. I didn't know. It was one of those dreams that you are sure is trying to t...