outWORD by Matte Downey

Image from Instructables Imagine two scenarios: 1) Give every person in the room a popsicle stick. Ask them to come together and put their sticks onto a table. Invariably, you end up with a random pile of sticks on a table. 2) Give every person in the room a popsicle stick. Show a picture of a popsicle stick bird feeder and ask people to come together and put their sticks on a table according to the picture. You will end up with the beginnings of a bird feeder on a table. What is the difference between the two scenarios? In both, each person brought what they had and contributed it to the collective. However, in the first scenario, there were no guidelines, no plan, and no right or wrong way to pile the sticks. People came, placed their sticks on the table, and walked away. In the second scenario, people were given a plan to follow and as a result, something specific was built. Instead of walking away after they made their contribution, people huddled around the table to watch wh...

Image from Catholic Reporter Gregory Boyle and some friends from Homeboy Industries This past weekend, I went to a chalet for the weekend. Together with 17 other people. It was our semi-regular church retreat during which we cooked meals together, washed dishes together, sang songs together, participated in morning and evening prayer together, played outside together, went on a hike together, and just hung out. We also spent some time talking and thinking about what we are trying to build as a faith community and what that looks like. Basically, it comes down to three ideas found at the heart of one of the models of church found in scripture. The model is the family, and the three ideas are belong, believe, and become. Children are born into a family and they immediately belong. Whether they are grumpy babies or happy babies or sick babies, they belong. Before they do anything to contribute to the family, they belong. As they grow up, they learn what it means to be part of a fa...

Image from jodieotte.com Over the past few weeks, I have sensed a renewed call to vulnerability. Life is a bit unsettled right now because I am in a transition from student to who-knows-what. In times like this when it is hard to find one's footing, the tendency can be to come up with a plan and implement it as soon as possible. This can give one the sense that things are on track, at least for a short period of time, but most often that plan just delays the inevitable. Lobsters and butterflies teach us that maturity requires periods of vulnerability, times when our old shells and forms must be shed in order to undergo a necessary transformation. These transitions are not to be hurried through. Take at look at your own body and you will see that healing and growth happen slowly, one cell at a time, at a pace which allows your body to adjust to the change with minimal trauma. The theme of vulnerability was reinforced for me in three different settings this past week. The first...

Image from evenlodesfriend.com This afternoon I listened in on a webinar on soul care put on by the Vineyard Church in Canada. One man told his story of how he burnt out as a pastor. After months of struggling, he finally quit and it took him four years before he was able to dream again. He identified some of the problems: the inability to admit we are weak, never giving out of abundance but living paycheck to paycheck (spiritually and emotionally), the pressure to succeed and do well, the fear of failure, and the desire to have people look up to us. I have struggled with most of these in my role as a teacher and pastor. The pressure to perform and do well are constant. I even feel it on this blog. I should be putting up posts weekly (at least) and addressing current, trending topics in order to get my readership up. But some weeks I have nothing to give, and that's okay. I have spent most of May trying to get my bounce back. The euphoria that followed the successful defense ...

Waikiki beach, February 2016 It's been awhile since I wrote anything here. There are several reasons for that. The primary one is that I spent the first half of the month doing a final edit of my doctoral dissertation before I handed it over to the examiners. Looking carefully at every word, footnote, and punctuation mark, as well as making sure that all 200 pages read like a cohesive whole and not a collection of disjointed ideas, took up most of my hours as well as most of the space in my brain. I surfaced from my office for tea and popcorn and made appearances in classes and meetings, but my mind was always on my dissertation. I submitted it to the thesis office on February 16. Three days later, Dean and I awoke at 4:30 in the morning to fly to Hawaii for a bit of sunshine and rest. It took several days before I was able to relax and enjoy the slower pace of vacation instead of thinking about projects, obligations, and future plans. Rest is a discipline and a skill. For ...

Image from call-of-hope.com I am reading through the book of Acts. It is an account of the beginnings of the early Christian church. It is jam-packed with adventure, action, and amazing stories. Take Acts 16 for example. The summary or thesis statement of this chapter could be identified in this sentence in verse 5: "Day after day the congregations became stronger in faith and larger in size." But what exactly does "becoming stronger and larger" look like in practice? Not quite the continuous upward trajectory that we might envision. The details are found in the remainder of the chapter. 1. Paul and Silas set out on a journey to spread the good news of Jesus.  2. They plan to go into Asia province but the Holy Spirit blocks them (really?). 3. They try to go north to Bithynia but the Spirit of Jesus won't let them go there either. 4. So they go on to Troas and there Paul has a dream in which a Macedonian says, "Come over and help us!" 5....

Image from developer.mozilla.org One of the biggest challenges in our faith community is making space for and involving our kids in spiritual formation in a meaningful and appropriate way. A lot of our activities are geared toward adults and assume a pretty advanced ability to grasp abstract ideas. Since we don't yet have the resources to offer Children's Church every week, we decided to try an experiment for a few months: every fifth Sunday we have an Inverted Meeting. The basic idea is this: the whole gathering is accessible for children and there are a few tidbits thrown in for the adults (what usually happens is the reverse, hence the name, Inverted Sunday). As well, there are also plenty of opportunities for the adults to join in and help out. Re-thinking our Sunday morning gathering this way has been and still is a bit of a learning curve, I have to admit, but we are all discovering how to be together in a more equitable way. I believe we are also becoming a better co...

Eucharist celebration the last day of the meetings This past week Dean and I and a few others from Montreal drove to Cambridge, Ontario for 4 days of leadership meetings. We gathered together with folks from all across Canada representing different Vineyard churches and national Vineyard initiatives. Let's get the complaints out of the way first. Well, there is really only one: the Cheetos only appeared on the snack table on day 3. Where were they on days 1 and 2, I ask? Despite this minor setback, I have to say that the gathering, which was a pilot for future get-togethers under the moniker, Metanoia (re-think), lived up to its name. I know others will have different perspectives, but here are some of the treasures I brought away with me. Re-think how we connect:  We didn't spend a lot of time listening to professional talkers or the big cheese(s), but to each other. We heard each other's stories, dreams, failings, hurts, disappointments, and hopes. We laughed toget...

One of my planters this morning This morning was planting day on my balcony; I placed three small, toddler flowering plants in each of my terra cotta containers. One of the pots had some gnarly, root-laden dirt in it so before I started planting, I lugged it down 3 flights of stairs and emptied it in the backyard. I dug through the other 2 pots to loosen the dirt and remove any big roots. Dean had bought me a brand new, extra large bag of Miracle Gro potting soil, so I dragged the bag which was nearly half my body size over to the pots and began to transfer dirt from bag to pot. Of course, some of it ended up on strewn on the balcony, smudged on my pants, and wedged underneath my fingernails (despite wearing gloves). While I was in the process of digging in the dirt, it started to rain. It wasn't too bad, just a few sprinkles, so I carried on, picking up the pace. I made three holes in each pot, carefully lifted the toddler plants out of their plastic containers, sprinkled so...

Book Review: 58 to 0: How Christ Leads Through the One Anothers . Jon Zens and Graham Wood, editors. Ekklesia Press, 2013. 202 pages. (ebook version used for review) John Zens and Graham Wood have collected an eclectic mix of 27 articles on leadership within the church, 12 of them bearing Zens' name. The basic premise is that the emphasis in the New Testament is on body life (one another's) and not on hierarchical leadership. So how has the church wandered so far from this? Zens (and others) takes issue with the solo pastor model, suggesting that there is no analog for this in scripture. What has happened, Zens suggests, is that for much of its history, the church has merely reflected the leadership models of society (business and government) instead of the ministry of service as exemplified by Jesus and confirmed in the early church. Many of the authors also suggest that this tendency towards authoritarian leadership has diverted attention away from the Church's one tr...

University of Toronto doorway In the past few weeks I have come across quite a few writings or conversations about the church and sexuality.  A pastor I know has written a book allowing for the option of same-sex marriage.  Another pastor I know says that the Bible clearly places this practice in the realm of sin (contrary to the ways of God).  A third pastor embraces all people in his church but insists that certain lines must be drawn when it comes to leadership roles.  One pastor indicated that the first question he is often asked is "What is your church's stance on homosexuality?"  He indicated that this is now being used as a kind of litmus test for people to either embrace or reject the church in question. And this is unfortunate.  I don't mean to sound insensitive, but I don't believe that this is a really important question.  Let me explain why.  First, it reduces the complexity of human relationships to one question. Second, I suspect...

Flying out of Winnipeg last night.  Really, it was that bright! I returned last night from a national gathering of leaders from Vineyard churches across Canada.  It was a jam-packed weekend and I think I did more talking and interacting than I probably will for the rest of the year (that's the introvert talking).  Though I am a bit tired, I know it was a moving and inspiring weekend.  There was lots of good stuff that happened.  It will take a bit of time to process, but I wrote some brief thoughts on it over at the Vineyard thoughtworks blog.  You can read about my exotic weekend away in Pinawa, Manitoba  here .

I didn't get around to blogging on Friday because I was in Halifax at a conference.  Lots of good things happened there, and two of the best things were seeing Dean again after his 8 days away in Memphis on business and getting a chance to connect with friends old and new.  And I got to drive around in a Nissan Pathfinder. It worked!  I found my path from the conference to the hotel, no problem! The talks given in the leadership meetings we had before the general conference were from people who have been leading for a long time.  They offered some of their lessons learned.  Let me share a few of the ones I that I thought were really important for me to remember as a leader, a student, a teacher, a person in community, and a follower of Jesus. Ed Piorek talked about how we as leaders can operate out of a core insecurity.  This insecurity can manifest itself in competition. In the context of pastors, i...

On Wednesday nights, I get together with a bunch of fine people who are interested in helping each other in our individual and collective spiritual journeys.  The trip there usually goes something like this: I catch the 6:31 bus.  I play with my iPhone on the 7 minute ride to the metro station: maybe update my status, maybe just check out what's happening with my friends.  Then I say merci to the bus driver as I exit, go down 2 escalators, and grab a seat on the train - hopefully my favourite seat at the end of the car.  I pull out a fun book to read and enjoy 30 minutes of blessed riding and reading without worrying about traffic or driving or parking.  I exit the train at the appropriate station and begin the 15 minute walk to my friend's apartment where we are meeting.  On the way there, I stop in at a wee independent grocery store which carries unique organic products and pick up a ginger green tea and some chips or fruit to share.  I arrive...

I was driving on the way to a church meeting last Sunday when I felt something strange - excitement!!  It had been quite a while since I had felt anticipation in coming to a church meeting.  Lately, it was usually a sense of obligation - a burden I had to carry, a task to accomplish. For me, Sundays include getting there early, setting up, making sure the powerpoint is assembled and the projector/computer working, often helping with worship music, sometimes giving the talk, praying, greeting visitors, and then packing up and locking up.  Sigh of relief!  Yes, I hate to admit it, but for the last little while, I have not looked forward to church gatherings.  So, when I felt a mini sparkler in my stomach last Sunday, it was a pleasant surprise.  The change actually began a week before that while I was giving a talk in the Sunday gathering.  First, you should know that none of us are paid f...

Station 7 - Jesus falls a second time I am one of those people that lets their breakfast cereal sit for awhile before I eat it.  I like it soggy.  I like the milk to infiltrate the squares, circles, flakes, clusters, and sticks and change their texture.  I figure if I want it crunchy, I might as well eat it out of the box and drink a glass of milk as a chaser.  I like to know that the milk has truly met the cereal and there is no turning back from the encounter. Station 11 - Jesus is nailed to the cross Station 10 - Jesus is stripped of his garments We spent Sunday morning walking through the Way of the Cross garden at St. Joseph's Oratory with our faith community.  I have done this walk many times before, but never at such a slow, meditative pace.  It was a lot different than just hiking along the path, sightseeing.  We took our time.  We stood and looked.  We were silent....