outWORD by Matte Downey

You know the feeling when you say something and you realise later, "Oops, perhaps that really wasn't the best thing I could have said?" I had some occasions this week where the words that came out of my mouth didn't really express the sentiments that I wanted them to. Instead, they reflected my impatience and an annoying habit of trying to force things right by my own efforts. I hate it when that happens. It leaves me feeling scummy and a bit paranoid about ever opening my mouth again. It can also lead me down a path of unhelpful introspection where everyone's actions around me become tied into something I did or said wrong, at least in my skewed perspective. I mean, how much more self-centred can one get? The nagging sense of failure clung to me for a few days, even after I apologised to people, and then I received a note from a friend far away. She was recalling some random comment I made to her years ago; it was a fond and funny memory and she wanted me to know...

I had another hair incident this past week. I have been bouncing from hairdresser to hairdresser since my regular stylist, Diana, left the business to go back to school over a year ago. I first tried the owner of the salon where Diana used to work and after a few less than successful appointments (one where she forgot me under the dryer and another where she cut my bangs waaaay too short), I decided to move on. I made an appointment at the trendy salon in the mall and got the oldest guy there, a man in his sixties. The colour was great, but I came out with a high maintenance haircut, the opposite of what I had asked for. Last week, I was in a bit of a rush because of my school schedule, so when I found a salon which had good online reviews and was just a block from the university, I gave it a try. I walked in and my first clue should have been that the place was empty. Of clients, that is. There were a group of men having some kind of meeting, it seemed. I couldn't understand what ...

I was in an accident yesterday. No, let me rephrase that. I caused an accident yesterday. I rear-ended a guy (well, his car, actually) at a red light. There was no excuse. I hesitate to even write the details here because then everyone will know how careless I can be, but hiding the truth would be refusing the opportunity to be humble, so here we go. The light was red. I was stopped. And for some inexplicable reason, my brain registered that the light had turned green and I started to go. Right into the back end of a green car. Everything in my car went flying forward onto the floor. A man in his sixties hopped out of the victimised car with an unhappy expression on his face. I apologised profusely in French, gave him my name and phone number, and we both went on our way. Thankfully, no one was hurt, the cars seemed to come out of it without even a scratch, and all that was damaged was my self-esteem and the desire to drive anywhere for the next year. I continued on to the grocery st...