outWORD by Matte Downey

Image from Flickr I like to go for walks in my neighbourhood. Getting outside and engaging in some exercise is a nice change from my desk, but walking through the park and along the pond does more than get my blood and limbs moving; it also invigorates my spirit and my mind. When I am a bit depleted, tired, confused, discouraged, or fearful, going for a walk is really good medicine. Because looking at the birds, the grass, the flowers, the kids playing in the park, the trees, and the sky lifts me out of my self-absorption and places things in perspective. The feast of beauty available to my senses outside my front door invites my small and fearful heart to be still, to take it all in, to swell with gratitude and wonder and playfulness. Beauty is something which attracts us, which causes us delight, and captures our attention. When one stands before a great work of art, the concern is not first about what sort of paint the artist used or the exact measurements of the canvas. One s...

Image from speakoutinc.com Prayer. It seems so easy and so difficult at the same time. Hans Urs von Balthasar writes these words about prayer: "Most Christians are convinced that prayer is more than the outward performance of an obligation, in which we tell God things he already knows. It is more than a kind of daily waiting attendance on the exalted Sovereign who receives his subjects' homage morning and evening. And although many Christians experience in pain and regret that their prayer gets no further than this lowly stage, they are sure, nonetheless, that there should be more to it. In this field there lies a hidden treasure, if only I could find it and dig it up. This seed has the power to become a mighty tree bearing blossoms and fruit, if only I would plant and tend it. This hard and distasteful duty would yield the freest and most blessed kind of life, if only I could open and surrender myself to it." [1] I often have the sense that there is so much more ...

Image from studyinuk.universiablogs.net The next milestone in my doctorate is looming on the horizon: the dreaded comprehensive exams. Basically, these exams test the student's general knowledge of their subject and two other related areas.  In my case the three areas of study are 20th century theology, ethics end encounter, and performance studies. I have spent the better part of six months plowing through a reading list of 69 titles in preparation for this exam which has two parts: a 3-hour test and a research paper. To be honest, this was the element of the degree that I most feared when I considered doctoral studies.  I have no problem doing research, writing papers, or even teaching, but being put on the spot with no idea what the questions might be and a very limited time to prove that I know what I am talking about: that's a scary thought. I am afraid I will draw a blank. It has happened before. I am one of those people who comes up with the perfect answer or com...

I meant to capture the window display, but got the streetview instead. Hans Urs von Balthasar is "my guy."  And by this I mean that the Swiss theologian is at the core of my doctoral studies.  Frankly, a lot of the time I don't get what he's saying.  His ridiculously broad base of knowledge in pretty much every field of the humanities leaves me in the dust.  Nevertheless, when I am reading one of his more than 60 books, every few pages or so I come across something that strikes at the heart of the matter and I utter a "Yes!" and feel a slight shift in my thinking, like another piece of the puzzle falling into place.  More recently, I have begun to read a series of articles by 15 scholars compiled into a book entitled:   How Balthasar Changed my Mind .  This companion to Balthasar's writing has been delightful because of its easy, accessible style, and its ability to break Balthasar's incredible theological contribution into bite-sized pieces. It ...

The Cholla cactus in Joshua Tree Park.  Beautiful in its own way. I have begun reading the sixty plus titles that are required for my upcoming comprehensive exams.  I decided to tackle the weightiest works first (don't know if that is wisdom or craziness), so in the past days I have been reading Balthasar's thoughts on theological aesthetics.  It is fascinating, inspiring, and due to the density of the material, pretty challenging.  Balthasar starts his theological writings with one word: beauty.  And I must say, I think he's onto something.  Why is beauty so important? First, a few definitions of beauty.  At dictionary.com you can find the following descriptors of the word:  a combination of qualities such as shape, color or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight; a combination of qualities that pleases the intellect or moral sense.  Balthasar gives a more theological definition of beauty:...

Phew! Another semester over and done with!  I just handed in my last essay this afternoon.  The topics I was dealing with this term were 1) Hans Urs von Balthasar and the role of the witness (audience participation) in God's drama and 2) Rembrandt's self-portraits as an illustration of Paul Ricoeur's idea of narrative identity.  Very interesting and perhaps I will write about them here at a later date.  This afternoon I am sitting at my desk, enjoying the breeze wafting in from the back balcony, drinking a cup of tea I accidentally added 2 sugars to (oops, got distracted), doing the laundry, baking bread, and trying not to jump right into editing 3 more papers for presentation and publication.  One of the most intriguing and thought-provoking books I read this semester (I always have one non-theology book on the go to read on the subway) was Fire Season by Philip Connors.  I picked it up at a book sale at the university store and was p...

During the course of my reading this last term, I came across a really great article.  You know, the kind of article that makes you say, Dang, I wish I had written that .   The title of the article is "Facing the Abyss: Hans Urs von Balthasar's Reading of Anxiety."  I didn't even know Hans (my main theologian for doctoral studies) was into anxiety!  Well, I thought I would share a few of the thoughts that the author of the article, Anthony Cirelli, brings to the topic.  I wish I had said these things, but I didn't.  All credit to Hans and Tony. To summarize, Balthasar suggests that anxiety happens because of the void between infinite divine freedom and finite human freedom.  Anxiety in the Old Testament occurs in two distinct ways. On the one hand, it occurs when one turns away from God, only to be greeted by the torturous and searing loneliness and meaninglessness of life apart from God.  On the other h...

I was watching the show Celebrity Apprentice last week (artificially created, overly dramatic reality tv, I know, but it has its moments) and on that particular episode the teams had to perform in an improv puppet show (for adults) with members of The Jim Henson Company.  Interesting stuff.  The cameras followed the team through puppet-making, improv lessons, and learning how to be part of a live show.  Of course, the most fascinating part for me was seeing professionals (and amateurs) do improvisational theatre. The rules of improv are pretty simple.  Don't think up a scene ahead of time; instead, be in the moment and react to what is happening.  You don't have to be funny; place the emphasis on creating an interesting scene and a consistent character; funny will follow.  Be specific and avoid open-ended questions which add nothing; vague questions end up putting the burden on your team memb...